Airline Passengers Have A Shitty Day
January 2, 2009 by Morbid
HOUSTON - Some passengers on a Continental Airlines flight from Houston to Omaha had a very crappy experience the day after Christmas. At some point on the plane, a mental patient walked out of the restroom covered in his own shit and began attacking Jose, the lone flight attendant.
This particular flight attendant should get some type of award. Not only did he herd the other passengers to the front of the plane, he also ended up on his back with a crazy idiot on top of him, covered in shit, punching him in the face.LuckyLucky reviews
for him, two other passengers finally stepped in and helped get the guy off the attendant. Things started off with the middle-aged man spending a long time in the bathroom before coming out looking like he rolled around in a pan of freshly baked brownies. Jose got a sheet of plastic, placed it over two seats and asked the man to sit down. Shortly after, the attack began.
PassengersPassengers reviews
were able to calm the guy down and had him buckle up. When police boarded the plane after it landed in Omaha, a passenger heard some of the conversation between them and the man. When informed that he was in a lot of trouble, he replied that he had a perfect record and that he has only assaulted two police officers.
The man was not arrested but rather turned over to mental health professionals from the Iowa care center the man currently resides. The FBI is now investigating why a mental patient was allowed to fly unsupervised. I, on the other hand, learned a valuable lesson about the power of feces and I plan on using this knowledge at every oppurtunity.
Next time I am at a restaraunt and some loud bitch at another table wont shut up about her trip on a houseboat with her friend Bonnie, I will simply stick my hand down the back of my pants, let loose, smear shit on my face like tribal warpaint and then commence a beatdown. No jail. Just a quick trip to a comfy hospital where I will watch TV and play chess all day until I am “cured”.
I may just stop using the toilet altogether and just keep small shit stashes around in convenient locations. In the glove compartment for those gridlock days, or horn-honkers in the drive-thru…another small stash to keep in my jacket pocket for the trip to Target or the theater. Honestly, I cannot believe I have not thought of this before.
Jose, if you ever find yourself in Charlotte, NC…let us know. We’ll buy you a beer.
2:36 pm on January 2nd, 2009
Number TWO!
2:37 pm on January 2nd, 2009
I literally laughed out loud.
2:46 pm on January 2nd, 2009
Thats amazing! hahaha
made my day!!!!
Funniest thing ive seen/ heard all day!
3:10 pm on January 2nd, 2009
hey it worked for my 4 year old the other day. Shit Happens.
6:20 pm on January 2nd, 2009
Shit always works. My then 2 1/2 yr. old learned very quickly the power shit displays had over mama…he used it to his advantage every time….my kiddo’s middle name is Jose.
7:02 pm on January 2nd, 2009
Silvahalo is correct: shit always works. One flight attendant and a couple passengers stepped up to the plate; I couldn’t have done that. I mean, this must have been massive quantities of fecal matter.
Hope Continental gives this guy combat pay.
7:22 pm on January 2nd, 2009
YECH!
8:35 pm on January 2nd, 2009
OMG! Funniest thing I have read in a long time. Thank you Morbid for the Friday night laugh!
9:15 pm on January 2nd, 2009
OK.. that’s some funny SHIT!
11:51 pm on January 2nd, 2009
Thanks Morbid! Title and picture got me laughing and I kept laughing throughout the entire article! Oh, what a world, what a world!
2:26 am on January 3rd, 2009
*snort of laughter* (Also an accurate pic of the inside of my mouth New Years morning.)
3:21 am on January 3rd, 2009
I’m honestly surprised this hasn’t occurred to you before Morbid. It was only a matter of time I suppose lol
7:50 am on January 3rd, 2009
So I logged in bright and early this morning and saw this:
http://i44.tinypic.com/30kcead.jpg
It’s a sign of the impending apocalypse. Morbid will arrive on a pale horse.
9:53 am on January 3rd, 2009
LOL. And the horse will be branded with 666, as well, yes? Will Morbid be wearing a hat?
11:04 am on January 3rd, 2009
And this is an understatement! Oh wow…
LMFWAO! Nasty, just nasty. This story turned my stomach.
5:59 pm on January 3rd, 2009
Ohh Man, the smell alone must have had passengers pukeing up and down the plane.
To hell with putting him back in a seat, lock his ass in the can and leave him there till tuchdown.
11:25 am on January 4th, 2009
I am a weak stomach type person
I would have puked….then & there
5:00 pm on January 4th, 2009
Awesome picture for the occasion. Good ol shitskeleton.
Think you got something worth saying? Type it out. If you don't wanna look lame, get rid of that default avatar and go get you a gravatar! Tell 'em Morbid sent ya'. Lastly, as far as we are concerned, posting a comment means that you have read our Disclaimer.
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