Lawrence Lee Didn’t Get A Present
December 26, 2008 by Jaded
…so he set his trailer on fire
Theodore, AL–Lawrence Edward Lee, 45, had a bad case of the ‘nobody loves me’ Christmas blues. He didn’t get a single present for Christmas. Not even a re-gifted fruitcake. Can you believe that? Well, he got even with the selfish relatives who overlooked him…he set his own trailer on fire. That’ll show ‘em! Now he not only lacks presents, but also a home. Luckily, the kind-hearted folks down at the Metro Jail welcomed him with open arms.
Lee’s sister-in-law, Sheryl Matthews, told reporters that she got a disturbing warning from Lee. He hinted to her that he was depressed and nobody loved him, so he was going to go home and burn his house down. With him in it. Well, that got the relatives in a panic and they rushed over to Lee’s place to try and stop him. By the time they made it there, the trailer was destroyed. There was no sign of Lee. Through the smoke, a firefighter emerged, with Lee in tow. After relatives realized that Lee wasn’t barbecued to a crisp, relief set in. They still didn’t whip out any presents though.
One firefighter told police that once they had the fire out, Lee emerged from the woods in behind his house, unburned and unscathed. Awwww…I do love a happy ending.
Not surprisingly, investigators suspect arson as the cause of the blaze. Lee did offer up a couple of different stories, one of them being that he fell asleep with a cigarette. As a perfect end to his shitty Christmas, Lee was arrested and hauled off to the Metro Jail. He is being charged with reckless endangerment, public intoxication, resisting arrest, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Lee’s cousin William Clemons, now has a gift he wants to bestow upon him. ‘If I see him, I’m going to slap him just one hard time. I just want to slap him once for scaring me like that.’ I’d take a good ‘ole slap to the face over a fruitcake any day.
12:07 pm on December 26th, 2008
Me too, Jaded. Me, too.
But dang, boy looks kinda happy, right? Bless his little heart. I’d have gotten him a chocolate Santa. Or a lovely jogging suit. I just happen to have one here, with the tags still on it…
1:06 pm on December 26th, 2008
I know, right? I mean, we all get at least one gift a year that is just right for re-gifting. I have about 5 popcorn tins I’d be willing to part with.
1:27 pm on December 26th, 2008
He sure does look happy. But he sure as hell doesn’t look 45!! More like 60. I think he’s quite pleased with himself because the relatives all came running to pay attention to him…..and the police…..and the fire department…..and, oh, you get the picture. LOL.
1:37 pm on December 26th, 2008
Is he wearing his shirt backwards and inside out too?
2:02 pm on December 26th, 2008
I think he is! LOL!
Must have been in too much of a hurry to get into the woods when his house went up in flames that he just put it on.
2:12 pm on December 26th, 2008
When did this happen? Did firefighters and emergency crew have to go out there on the holiday? Here they are working on Christmas and they have to go put out a fire from a selfish man who didnt get a Cristmas present?
3:20 pm on December 26th, 2008
Hell, Santa didn’t even leave me a lump of coal this year… Did I burn down my house, no… hell, NO! Bloody idiot!
5:09 pm on December 26th, 2008
He should pay the costs for the fire dept etc, BUT relatives need to keep an eye on this one . . . soap on a rope would definitely be less expensive than when he burns them to death in their beds xmas 2009, right?
5:51 pm on December 26th, 2008
I didn’t get anything either. Santa said I was naughty. He liked it though…..
6:24 pm on December 26th, 2008
Lawrence Lee got the present he Really wanted….to spend the night (or nights) with the PO PO! His Bonus was the FIRETRUCKS!
9:07 pm on December 26th, 2008
——————————————————————————–
Aw, refreshing to get a happy ending. But yes, cousin Willy please slap him one more time for me! Too bad he doesn’t have a home anymore or I would consider sending him a fruitcake as well. . . . . .
9:10 pm on December 26th, 2008
WTF!? No I didn’t mean to put my perfume collection there – geez, sorry about that! I’m sure that happens all the time with first posts . . . . .uh. . . . . . right?
9:12 pm on December 26th, 2008
Is it too late to change my username and start over? How embarrassing! Oh well. . . . would anyone like a decant? (sigh)
9:45 pm on December 26th, 2008
KittyKat, I thought you were spam. Just be glad that it wasn’t your sex toy list.
I feel sorry for this guy. There are many more lonely people in the world than is imagined. Good-hearted, giving people who have no one at the holidays. (Not that I really think this guy is in that category.) Even a husky stole his Christmas gift of a bone this year — maybe you’ve seen the video.
And my point is that sometimes people act out. If this guy has actually done anything that deserves love is a question unanswered. I just urge people to look around for the lonely person who spent Christmas in a quiet apartment. It’s not too late to do something to add a little happiness to their days.
10:04 pm on December 26th, 2008
That’s a good point – thank you! I had copied and pasted that list days ago, obviously for a different website – I guess I right-clicked and there it is! Thank goodness I deleted all the perfumes I had that are not available for decants!
(Yes, I’m blonde.)
And your other other point is well-taken too. I was out with my dear parents, who were taking me Christmas shopping, and we came upon a nice looking gentleman, dressed in decent clothes, instead of the usual scruffy looking old veterans who hold up signs to get cash – and he had a sign that said , “laid off, please donate money for Christmas for my family,” or something like that. My parents gave him 5 bucks. Maybe next year Lee could hold up a sgn that says, “Last year I didn’t get any Christmas presents and I burned my trailer down, please give me a present to avert even greater tragedy this year.”
In the meantime if I could get in touch with his cousin i could belatedly gift him with a kitten. My husband thinks 10 cats are too many, though I tend to disagree. . . . . now I’m a nervous wreck what if I click on “submit comment” and even more personal info. goes up – Yikes! Here goes. . . . . !
10:58 pm on December 26th, 2008
No problems KittyKat…I took care of it for ya!
Thank you for posting and welcome to the site!
11:13 pm on December 26th, 2008
Thank you! You removed it before anyone called me a retard or even asked for a decant! And thanks for the welcome. Now where do I get the little smileys?
11:36 pm on December 26th, 2008
Oh, God! I had to laugh aloud at this comment!
SoJaded — how are we supposed to buy KittyKat her perfume next year if you go and remove the list??????????
11:58 pm on December 26th, 2008
Hey WryBread,
I think I can speak for Lawrence Edward Lee when I say that he and I would both be happy to send you our personal Christmas wish lists for next year. . . .
5:20 pm on December 27th, 2008
You can tell that Lawrence Lee has anger or psychological issues because he went so far to burn his trailer house down.
To me, this his his way to cry out for attention to himself. Perhaps he was an underprivileged child when he was growing up. Or perhaps he didn’t have a strong father figure in his life.
Suhani
9:48 am on December 29th, 2008
His mug shot is priceless…he looks pleased as punch! Lol.
Cry me a river, build a bridge, get the fuck over it!
1:47 am on January 2nd, 2009
He definitely does look pleased with himself. Thank goodness no one was harmed or killed from his stupidity. I bet his name will definitely be on the top of every one of his family member’s lists next year. Especially for whomever is having it at their house.
Hmmm, maybe I should of burned the entire dinner I cooked all day with no help from anyone, because I didn’t get a present either, but they sure enjoyed the food.
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