Devin Perry Wanted His Tinkle Back
December 16, 2008 by Jaded
Gainesville, FL–The unhappy looking gent you see pictured above is 26-year-old Devin Anthony Perry. He is in trouble for stealing a fridge full of urine samples. Even his mad CSI skills didn’t prevent his arrest….
Ya see, Devin is on probation for a previous drug arrest. He was to be on probation until 2018 for multiple drug convictions, including possession and sale of marijuana and cocaine. On Friday, he reported to the Dept. of Corrections Probation and Parole office to submit a urine sample for drug testing. And guess what? The sample proved positive for drugs. Ut-Oh! What’s a felon to do?
After realizing that the tinkle was ‘dirty,’ Devin hatched a brilliant plan to retrieve the dirty sample. Sometime between 2 and 5 a.m. SundaySunday reviews
morning, Devin returned to the probation office, shot out a window to gain entry, and grabbed the locked fridge used to store the tinkle. Using the aforementioned CSI skills, Perry collected shards of glass that had his blood on them and set fire to the shrubbery beneath the window. He then set off with his fridge full of pee.
Probation officers arriving to work that morning took notice of the smoldering bushes. Seeing as how the voice of God didn’t speak from the burning bush, pointing out the bad guy, the PO’s called in the police. After being handed a list of felons who may have had reason to want their samples destroyed, deputies started tracking down potential suspects.
One of the names on that list was Devin Perry. When investigators peered into a trash can at Devin’s home, they discovered the missing shards of glass, wrapped up in clothing believed to belong to Devin. Busted!
Devin Anthony Perry, was arrested and charged with arson, destroying evidence, burglary and larceny. The abducted fridge hasn’t been found.
9:24 am on December 16th, 2008
What a doofus.
Why didn’t he put the shards of glass with the fridge? If he’d done that, they probably wouldn’t have found him, or at least it would have taken them longer, seeing as how the fridge hasn’t been found yet. Either way, he’s a moron. He exchanged one problem for several more serious ones. Nice.
9:41 am on December 16th, 2008
OMG ! now that’s funny, the write up was great, and the title is the best =) lol
9:42 am on December 16th, 2008
Well, he knew he was going to tinkle dirty, so he should have cleaned up his act a little sooner.. Another piece of shit off the streets…
9:59 am on December 16th, 2008
No, what’s stupid is that he threw the pee away in his own trash. He should have thrown it in the dumpster behind Wal-Mart or something.
10:38 am on December 16th, 2008
I second that
LMAO!!!! Idiot. 2018 on probation though?! Wow.
11:22 am on December 16th, 2008
what in the world did he do to land him a DECADE worth of probabtion?
are they going to give him more probabtion time again instead of locking the dumbass up in jail like they should’ve done years ago?
taxpayers are going to have to pay for his little stunt.
if the justice system would’ve done it’s job, none of this would’ve happened.
ugh.
**
2:42 pm on December 16th, 2008
Wow, with brilliant planning skills like that, you have to wonder what ever got him put on probation in the first place. Must’ve burned his last brain cell long ago.
3:25 pm on December 16th, 2008
omg, why did he just not show up for his piss test if he knew it was going to go poorly? The consequences would have surely been less than he’s currently looking at.
3:34 pm on December 16th, 2008
Apparently Tinkle-man isn’t very good at “thinking ahead”.
4:34 pm on December 16th, 2008
rotflmao…. fridge full of pee… he will go down in history with the inmates for that one.
10:44 pm on December 16th, 2008
Wow – Now there is a man serious about passing a drug test. Someone tell him that you can buy synthetic urine online. It’s cheap and you don’t have to break into the parole office to get it.
10:56 pm on December 16th, 2008
Could we just execute this guy? Is there anyone out there who thinks that Devon is going to straighten out and contribute to society — other than babies he won’t take care of? Can’t it be illegal to be so damned dumb that you have nothing to offer anyone except a dick or twat?
What did this idiot think? Police: “Oh, well, get everyone back in here to pee again. The refrigerator has disappeared. We won’t bother looking for it because after all, it’s not as if solving crimes is our job.”
10:17 am on December 17th, 2008
What a dingaling.
Doesn’t he know there’s always someone willing to sell their tinkle?
And, was this like a red flag that happened after he went in to pee? Sorta like the V-8 smack upside the head. “DAYUM! I’s forgets I smokeded thems cracks”
6:12 am on December 18th, 2008
WOW. It’s so much easier to just not do the drugs to begin with. That’s desperation.
7:05 am on December 18th, 2008
I’m with ya. I don’t believe there is any hope of rehabilitation for this one.
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