Jocelyn Addison, Nia Mcbrayer & Jennifer Wattson
Bedford, OH–The internet. It’s always there for us when we need a problem solved. Need to know how to get red wine out of a white carpet? Check the internet. Looking for a solution to cure a recurring rash? It’s on the internet. Wanna commit armed robbery in six easy steps? What do ya know…you can get directions on the internet!
Here we have a trio of women who were looking for some easy money; Jocelyn Addison, 19; Nia McBrayer, 21; and Jennifer Watson, 18. They must have thought they hit pay dirt when they came across a website titled, ‘How To Commit Armed Robbery In Six Easy Steps.’ All a person needs to get started is a ski mask, a partner or two, and a plan. Well hell! That sounds easy enough. The trio downloaded the instructions, printed them out, and got busy.
They had the first three steps covered; they had their masks, a plan, and an unloaded BB gun. (What? The tutorial said nothing about bullets). They piled into the car Monday night and headed for the local Dollar Tree. I betcha they were already thinking about what they were going to do with all those dollars. They had printed directions! From the internet! What could possibly go wrong?
They tried really, really hard to follow through with step #4, ‘The Robbery’. The manager must have come across a ‘How To Convince Anyone of Anything’ article on the internet, because she convinced the would-be robbers that she couldn’t open the store safe. The women were probably confused at that point…after all, rejection wasn’t covered in the tutorial. Denied and dejected, the trio departed the Dollar Tree and made for the getaway car.
That brings us to step #5, ‘The Law’. The tutorial points out that the law is to be avoided at all costs. They must have forgot about that step because less than a mile away from the Dollar Tree, the women were faced with several officers…and they had real guns. Loaded guns. With tears streaming down their faces, the trio confessed and surrendered to police. All three were arrested, taken to jail, and charged with robbery. Just like real criminals. They didn’t make it to the final step, ‘Spending The Money.’ Step #6 suggests spending the ill-gotten loot quickly…on lots of bling. So sad.
In a search of the getaway car, officers seized the actual printed copy of the tutorial. I wonder if anyone has plans to invent an anti-dumbass vaccination….BRB. Gotta do an internet search.