“Dude! Wheresh Mah Teef?”
November 1, 2008 by Jaded
Louise Deeringer & Guy Dugas
Tampa, FL–Demonites, with all the strife, murder, hunger, and pain that we read about daily, we sometimes tend to overlook some of the less publicized stories. Just because they aren’t covered back to back, every 10 minutes on TV, it doesn’t make them any less important. Take Louise and Guy for example. This loving couple have been together for 11 years….no small feat in this day and age. Well, just recently, it was brought to light that something was missing in their relationship…..
All it took was a set of dentures to forever change this couple’s life. Yes my friends, Louise and Guy were living out their comfy domestic lives in their comfy trailer when missing teeth caused it all to crumble at their feet. Please, allow me to start at the beginning, I think it might have went something like this…*fade to dreamy flashback music*
At about 11:15 Thursday evening, Louise Deeringer was looking for her false teeth. Maybe she wanted to chow down on a sweet midnight snack, or maybe she just wanted to brush them, the full details haven’t been released as of yet. She confronts her prince, Guy Dugas, “Darling, do you recall where you put my teeth? I can’t seem to locate them.” Guy, shaking his head, “No, my pet. I haven’t the foggiest idea where your teeth are. Did you check your mouth”? This answer just doesn’t sit well with Louise, and the shit starts to hit the fan.
Louise didn’t believe what Guy was telling her. Maybe she thought he was hiding them, maybe she thought he was using them. She gets pissed and they start arguing. At some point in the argument, Guy decided to give her ‘flying lessons.’ Before everyone starts thinking about what a sweet and thoughtful present that would be, his idea of flying lessons don’t involve aircraft. Louise later told authorities that ‘he tossed her up into the air and onto the kitchen floor.’
Seeing as how she is already in the kitchen, Louise grabs the nearest knife and gives chase! She chased him outside, like a hunter stalking his prey. She sees him re-enter the trailer through the back door. She is right on his tail, chasing him down the hallway screaming, “You’re going to tell me where my teeth are, or I’m gonna kill you!” Guy took refuge in the bathroom. That didn’t stop the feisty Louise, she started stabbing the bathroom door. Luckily, the door held up to the abuse and Guy is still among the living.
Police showed up at the trailer and arrested both parties. But not before discovering that the teeth in question were behind a TV stand. D’OH!
They are both sitting in Orient Road Jail, no bail has been set. 56-year-old Deeringer is being charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. 49-year-old Dugas is looking at misdemeanor domestic battery. Both are probably wishing that the damn teeth had been in a glass by the bathroom sink like they are supposed to be! There is no word on the condition of the bathroom door.
The moral of the story? Any lost item will always be in the last place you expected it to be.
8:19 am on November 1st, 2008
Jaded – this is one of your best writeups EVER. I laughed so hard I woke the pugs. All of whom have their own teeth, thank you.
And how did her teeth get behind a TV stand?
8:41 am on November 1st, 2008
I don’t know. And I’m not sure I really want to know.
Maybe they were trying to make their escape…
8:46 am on November 1st, 2008
Jaded, AWESOME writeup! Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
9:31 am on November 1st, 2008
Oh God. Thanks for reminding me of one of the reasons I moved out of Florida (Tampa Bay area specifically)
I think that 8 mos. of high heat and high humidity really fries some peoples brains! (or maybe it’s just bein’ high?) lol
Way to turn a run of the mill domestic violence story in to a great read!
9:50 am on November 1st, 2008
Most posts on here make me angry at the perp, but this one made me LMAO. Too funny!
10:27 am on November 1st, 2008
*tear* omg i can’t breath!!! the title is just priceless… hehe what a maniac!
10:40 am on November 1st, 2008
Dude, teeth don’t walk behind the TV stand by themselves! Even in Florida.
I think Guy has been hiding them from Louise any time he gets a bit pissy with her. Passive aggressive shenanigans FTW! And Louise just wasn’t going to take it any more. It’s defensible, really. It would have been justifiable homicide, had she been just a little bit fleeter of foot.
Wouldn’t it??
10:52 am on November 1st, 2008
I suppose they’ll now put a pair of nails in the wall, so Louise can hang her dentures there like a pair of pink and white lucky horseshoes.
4:35 pm on November 1st, 2008
Thanks for the great writeup.. I laughed my ass off through the whole thing…Nice to be able to laugh at a front page writeup..
5:24 pm on November 1st, 2008
Something is wrong here–their clothes just creep me out for some reason.
8:53 pm on November 1st, 2008
That was good stuff. LMAO Am I the only one who had to look twice to tell who was who? Yikes!
9:54 pm on November 1st, 2008
Bhahahahahahaha!! *Snortgiggle*! Got love being able to laugh so hard at the front page! I did read it in the forums, but I looooove the new title better
5:33 am on November 2nd, 2008
I think he hid her eyebrow pencil also.
9:33 am on November 2nd, 2008
It must be look-alike weekend on D’D. Or am I the only one who thinks Guy looks like John DeLancie, who played “Q” on Star Trek:TNG?
Wow. What a couple of class acts. (end sarcasm)
7:52 pm on November 2nd, 2008
What a great write up.
I couldn’t help but picture the whole scene in my mind..lol
11:20 pm on November 2nd, 2008
Oh the image, hahahaha.
11:53 am on November 3rd, 2008
Dear Lord, I was laughing my furry tail off!!
12:43 pm on November 3rd, 2008
I’m with you, had to do a double back
LOL
2:12 pm on November 3rd, 2008
Funny, funny, funny!!!! And the yelling with no teeth, I can only imagine
4:52 pm on November 3rd, 2008
Maybe he hid the teeth behind the nghtstand. Must have liked her better toothless *wink, wink*
4:56 pm on November 3rd, 2008
ugh April, Oh Gross, The image is stuck – get it out, GET IT OUT!
6:40 pm on November 3rd, 2008
I am LMMFAO at this one.
10:41 pm on November 3rd, 2008
So sorry for the image – But you know I’m right.
BTW – What is up with his hair??? Toupe?? Comb over?? I’m so confused…
12:59 pm on November 4th, 2008
What a welcome respite.. LMAO Good job Jaded
3:54 pm on November 4th, 2008
In this case, Louise’s bark was far worse than her bite… Damn, don’t mess with her teef, or else!
6:15 am on April 13th, 2009
[...] worst. Many a story about domestic violence has been written: Helen Sun; Chris Brown; Oumar Lam; Louise Deeringer & Guy Dugas. I could go on, but I won’t. How you could you so severely hurt someone you profess to love? [...]
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