Saginaw County, MI - I will be the first to admit…over the years, I have put my dick into some pretty questionable things. There are just times when situations or circumstances arise in which a man just has to do what a man has to do and they can find themselves plugging away at something they would not have touched with a 10-foot pole, a dead muskrat or a heavy rock…much less their very own genitalia. Usually in those cases, it is done in private…with no chance of getting caught and being ragged on by your associates. Not Jason Savage. For whatever reason, this 29-year-old decided to fuck a vacuum cleaner at a local car wash.
Sometime in the early morning hours, Savage took the Fill-N-Wash Car Wash a little too literally and was observed putting his junk in the hose of a coin-operated vacuum cleaner. A police officer noticed Savage loitering around the machines and thought that Savage may be attempting to steal from one of them. As he approached, he heard the vacuum running, and was surprised to see Savage with his pants down and taking advantage of the self-service feature.
When the officer got close, Savage exclaimed “Oh Shit!” and let the vacuum fall to the ground. He was arrested and stated that he was extremely embarrased for getting caught fucking a vacuum cleaner. He was charged with indecent exposure. Savage is already on parole for weed possession, home invasion, and running from the police.
You can read the arrest report here.
7:09 am on October 21st, 2008
Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ah God love him. Couldn’t get a real ho’ so went for a ho’se instead. His ego must have ben ripped to shrewds when the blow up doll even rejected him.
Sucka :0
7:21 am on October 21st, 2008
Good Gawd!! There is a mental image I really did not need. Now I am going to wonder about every car wash vaccum hose . Ewwwww. Mental note to myself : always carry rubber gloves and a pair of bar-b-que tongs to the carwash with me.
Poor guy has to face all his relatives, friends , co-workers now too ! Ha Ha Ha…. How does one explain trying to get it on with a vaccum at the carwash. Oh to be a fly on the wall for that one LOL
7:25 am on October 21st, 2008
While I feel outrage for all vacuum hoses everywhere, I’m glad it was ONLY a hose.. does he realize he can get a shop vac for home use.. for like $23.95??
Thanks for putting something light and amusing on the FP Impqueen =)
8:05 am on October 21st, 2008
Hahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!! *points and laughs*
Well, at least he wasn’t sticking it into a baby, or a dog, or roadkill.
8:20 am on October 21st, 2008
hehehehehehe that reminds me of Doofy from Scary Movie (I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME WHEN I’M CLEANING MY ROOM!!!!!)
8:50 am on October 21st, 2008
Hhahahhaha, well at least he’s not like the “chicken fucker” on South Park!
Holy crow, that is funny! But yeah, that’s what make me clean my car at home……………
8:55 am on October 21st, 2008
lol gross.
9:53 am on October 21st, 2008
Hahahaha….I can’t stop laughing. That is hilarious!
9:54 am on October 21st, 2008
omg this dude is a special kind of stupid, in so many ways.
kitty…..shop vac was my first thought also lol
im wondering why the hell he couldnt have just done his deed sitting INSIDE his damn car? idiot
years ago my parents owned a car wash, my dad told me i could keep all the money i found in the vacs……one look at the cannister full of nasty shit was more than enuf to make me say ‘fuck that!’ the hoses were just a disgusting…..actually worse.
i only use car wash vacs for puke or something gross enuf that i dont want to clean it out of the shop vac
10:23 am on October 21st, 2008
OMG. He’ll be moving out of town soon, I’m sure, lol!
10:30 am on October 21st, 2008
Wow…I continue to be amazed at some people! He’ll never live this one down! LOL
10:33 am on October 21st, 2008
LMAO! I’m so glad they caught him in the act…can you imagine the next customer’s surprise when they went to vacuum their car out and got his vacuum vagina on their upholstery? Ewwwww
10:56 am on October 21st, 2008
OMG, OMG that is too f#*ing funny.. But I’ll never use a vacuum hose at a car wash again.. I’m still giggling…
11:16 am on October 21st, 2008
ROFL. it’s great to come on here and have a good laugh for once
11:21 am on October 21st, 2008
Morb, you seem like you want to talk about it…you can share details here, if need be;)
Was the vacuum on? Seems dangerous.
11:23 am on October 21st, 2008
Gawsh, you guys act like you’ve never been in Junior High. He was just using the vacuum to make it look like he had a hickey on his….oh, wait….no, that’s not normal.
; P
Really though, please tell me that car wash REPLACED this whole machine.
11:42 am on October 21st, 2008
That is flippin riotous! I love your declaration and use of verbage in regards to what a man might do! Hilarious…
11:53 am on October 21st, 2008
Oh, God. I suffer from the same predicament as Gypsy and was overloaded with unwanted mental imagery. I didn’t know men could really get THIS desperate. Then again, 25¢ for three minutes is cheaper than a hooker would charge, I’m sure.
11:58 am on October 21st, 2008
He’s 5″2 and 110lbs, that vacuum could have sucked his whole body up. Dude better be careful.
12:19 pm on October 21st, 2008
Because then the whole “I need attention” thing wouldn’t have worked for him
I know, damn, most men try to protect that thing above all else!
12:34 pm on October 21st, 2008
Seriously, I doubt the vac was on! His peen would be in trauma mode now if it were.
Maybe he’s a “tripod.”
12:45 pm on October 21st, 2008
Nope.
The vacuum was on.
He was on a bike.
1:05 pm on October 21st, 2008
On a BIKE?! Seriously? Sheesh. I giggled when I read that, and I blame Morbid for answering the phone at work still laughing and having my advertiser ask me if I was okay. God. I knew the damn thing was on. Supposedly, vacuum suction is a suitable substitute for oral sex to the extremely desperate. 25¢ blow jobs if you’re quick.
1:30 pm on October 21st, 2008
A bike??? Seriously? Wow, he really needed that hose!!
3:10 pm on October 21st, 2008
I think if I had a d!<k… I’d probably be sticking it in everything I could too, lmao…. yes, I have penis envy, lmmfao.
3:41 pm on October 21st, 2008
Better that vacuum than a baby though. Thank God for small blessings such as this
5:35 pm on October 21st, 2008
Ahahahahaha!
That’s all.
6:06 pm on October 21st, 2008
“His pedal bike, nap sack, blue mag light flashlight, and two butane lighters were later removed from “Fill-and-Wash” and brought to Thomas Twp PD for safekeeping”
Geeeessssusssssss I thought he was cleaning his car HaHaHa. I guess he thought the name “FILL and Wash” was a personal invite.
8:41 pm on October 21st, 2008
YEAH WHATEVER THAT SLUT VACUUM WAS FUCKN ASKING FOR IT
12:15 am on October 22nd, 2008
Where else do you get a suck job for 4 quarters with no worries of being infected, arrested or becoming a babydaddy?? Plus the bitch didn’t talk back or want to be held afterward. Gotta love a man with a plan.
1:15 am on October 22nd, 2008
ROFL!!! wow.. some people.. just wow.. i’m sure that chick with five kids would have opened her legs for him.. are things really this desperate?
6:17 am on October 22nd, 2008
HOW FUNNY IS THIS, what a idiot
that is it folks what a true idiot
10:08 am on October 22nd, 2008
Oh the old hose and go.
hee hee
11:05 am on October 22nd, 2008
“it’s 12 o’clock..parents do you know where your vacuums are?”
3:02 pm on October 22nd, 2008
I don’t know what’s funnier… the story… or y’all’s comments! LOL
This guy CAN’T show his face in town after this… it’s one of those things people talk about for years and years.
I do wonder tho — was this the first time? Who gave him the idea? Maybe it’s common in this town… yikes!
10:17 pm on October 22nd, 2008
This story just put an unerasable image in my head that will forever keep me away from car wash vacuum cleaners.
What a sick fuck this guy is. As if the weed charge and everything else weren’t enough to have on his record, he needs to think up another more whacked out, disgusting and weird thing to spend his time on. How will the cops word that one on a permanent record?? I pity the next poor cop that pulls this guys file and sees THAT in the history.
Just a thought – the vacuum cleaner in the privacy of his own home wasn’t good enough?
Or do some guys just have to pay for sex to really get something out of it? I love what BiteMe says about the “ho’se.”
Yes, this guy certainly is a “sucker.”
3:09 pm on October 23rd, 2008
Sickia, you just won funniest fuckin’ comment of the day !!!!
8:30 pm on October 23rd, 2008
Thanks Jo!! It just came out.
2:05 am on October 24th, 2008
Sounds like this guy does not have a computer and does not have a vacuum in his home. seems like a new age pee-wee herman to me. my god, if he couldnt muster up the cash for either he could simple cut a hole in the wall and use a warm damp dishrag. what a retard.
5:06 am on March 6th, 2009
[...] at $120. Osborn wasn’t charged with anything. Personally, if I were a guy, I’d prefer a vacuum cleaner or a picnic table to Betty [...]
1:18 pm on March 26th, 2009
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,510746,00.html
one of those unforgetable stories LOL
just saw this on fox news had to update
A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison
Think you got something worth saying? Type it out. If you don't wanna look lame, get rid of that default avatar and go get you a gravatar! Tell 'em Morbid sent ya'. Lastly, as far as we are concerned, posting a comment means that you have read our Disclaimer.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Search Dreamin’ Demon
Login
The Dreamin Demon Wants You
Check ‘Em Out!
Recent Comments
Recent Media Reviews
Twitter
Your Ad Here
Facebook Crap
Drink The Kool-Aid
Archives
Kickass Sites
Copyright © 2009 · Except where otherwise noted, content on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License · DreaminDemon Blood Red theme by Lee Malta.
Get a Blog · WordPress · Log in