CharlestonCharleston reviews, WV – Paul E. Parrish II, 43, was hungry last Monday.  He also thought it would be a good idea to make some extra cash, maybe catch a movie.  Unfortunately for Paul, the best laid plans of an epic failure often hinge on a Jell-O box.   Hint for future copycats:  Jell-O boxes do not look like bombs.  Nobody will take you seriously.  Not even the clerk at the Movie Gallery.

Parrish apparently went to Kroger on Monday and bought the Jello cheesecake dessert, and ate it.  Sources are unclear on whether he mixed it first.  Maybe he snorted it through a straw like Charles De Mar in Better Off DeadBetter Off Dead reviews, I dunno.  Anyway, he somehow managed to ingest the tasty dessert, and the resulting sugar high was a bonus for Round Two of Paul’s Epic Fail Adventure.

Once the Jell-O box was empty, Parrish took it with him and entered a nearby Movie Gallery video rental store.  Wearing a gray Unabomber-style hoodie, ski gloves, jeans, and sandals (yes, sandals), Paul placed the box on the counter.  He explained to the clerk that the Jell-O box contained a bomb and that if the clerk did not empty the drawer, Parrish would detonate said Jell-O bomb via remote control.

I don’t know where he thought he was gonna get a remote.  It takes awhile to eat Junior Mints at the video store.  They get kinda chewy. And Milk Duds take forever.

The clerk just looked at Parrish and went “Shyeah, whatever, dude”, and called the cops.  Because Movie Gallery clerks are smart and watch a lot of movies, and they know that if the lid’s off and there’s no tape and no wires, there’s no bomb other than the flatulence of a full-tummied perpetrator.  Parrish took off, and the amused clerk made a police report.

On Wednesday, Parrish was arrested when a patrol officer spotted him. Officers took Parrish in and made him watch the video – because hey, it was funny, right?

“(Parrish) said, ‘That looks like a Jell-O box.’ We said, ‘Yeah, we think so too,’” said police Sgt. Aaron James.  Parrish confessed and allowed as how he really wanted some money for gas and smokes. Said Sgt. James, “It was really kind of silly. I don’t know what the heck he was thinking.”

I bet he wasn’t thinking “I really wanna be the idiot on the front page of Dreamin’ Demon.”  Sometimes people just have greatness thrust upon them.  Paul “Jell-O” Parrish was charged with attempted robbery and a parole violation, and remains in custody with no bond information available.

SoJaded is talking about this case in our forums.

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