Robert Craft Has Trouble With Lawn Tools
Filed under: Assault, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Threats
Salt Lake City, UT - Robert Stanley Craft, 44, has a hot temper and no ability to start his lawn maintenance equipment. Which is probably a good thing, given that he assaulted his stepson with a chainsaw (he threw it) and a weedeater (he threw that, too). Then he tried to run over his wife, and missed. This dude is a study in epic fail.
On Saturday, August 2, Robert Craft got all pissy and slapped his eleven-year-old daughter in the face. Well, Craft’s adult stepson was not gonna have his baby sister smacked around like that, and responded to the assault on the girl by punching Craft in the face. That didn’t go over too well.
Craft picked up a chainsaw to attack his stepson, but he couldn’t get it to start. So he threw it, and went to get his weedeater. And it wouldn’t start, so he threw that too. He didn’t hit anybody, but he sure was mad, as evidenced by the pacing around and ranting “You’re dead, you’re all dead!”
The stepson took the eleven year old girl and two other children who were in the home, and left. Y’know, I’d just like to interject that the stepson really should come hang out here, because I think we’d like him. He’s definitely my kind of people. Anyway.
After the stepson left, Craft kept throwing a fit. His wife said that Craft picked up a wooden statue and went to town, beating the hell out of the house. Then he stormed out, and Mrs. Craft, concerned for her wingnut husband, chose to follow him on foot. Which probably was not a great idea, because Ol’ Bob tried to swerve up on the sidewalk to hit her. Twice! Mrs. Craft was a little more agile than the car, so she did manage to get inside a neighbor’s gate to get away.
Robert Stanley Craft, who is also known as Bob Craft, Bob Hatch, Robert James Green, and Mark John James, was arrested at the scene on Saturday and booked into Salt Lake County Jail. He was charged with fourteen crimes, including aggravated assault, domestic violence, child abuse, violating a protective order, criminal mischief, simple assault, and driving without a valid license.
Looks like he’s already out on bond, though, so if you live in the area of 800 East and Stratford Avenue in Salt Lake, stay off the sidewalks and away from the lawn tools. He might get luckier next time.
SoJaded hit me to this one in the forums - thanks!
I’ll bet you anything that it was a chain-saw carving that he’d made himself!
weed eater attack! eek!
The crazy eyes are just too much - chainsaw chucking man is giving me the giggles.
I think the word “inept” was coined with losers like this one in mind. He strikes me as the perfect example. And can I just add: Thank goodness for that!!
I agree. I’ve got an empty bedroom he can have anytime he wants it. He can even bring mom & the other kids. I won’t mind sleeping on the couch for a chance that this bunch could separate themselves from Bobby Boy.
BTW, I was thinking it was good for the stepson that Bob-o couldn’t get the chainsaw started, but it was even better for Bob-o himself. The shit-for-brains probably would have cut his own damn head off
When I look at this dude’s face, the voice I hear comming out of his mouth is Carl’s (Bill Murray’s) from the movie Caddy Shack…
“Misses Crane…. I am looking at you… You thought you can hide…. I can see you… Your a naughtly little monkey woman….. ”
Hahahaha! Classic.
You think you had a bad day at work today? Imagine if you were a mental health therapist at the Salt Lake City jail and you were the lucky employee that drew the short straw and had to meet with this wacko and calm him down… Yikes!
Do I detect a whiff of methface here?
What a douchebag! By the looks of the picture above, he also missed several haircut appointments! MORON