Robert Craft Has Trouble With Lawn Tools
August 7, 2008 by impqueen
Salt Lake City, UT - Robert Stanley Craft, 44, has a hot temper and no ability to start his lawn maintenance equipment. Which is probably a good thing, given that he assaulted his stepson with a chainsaw (he threw it) and a weedeater (he threw that, too). Then he tried to run over his wife, and missed. This dude is a study in epic fail.
On Saturday, AugustAugust reviews
2, Robert Craft got all pissy and slapped his eleven-year-old daughter in the face. Well, Craft’s adult stepson was not gonna have his baby sister smacked around like that, and responded to the assault on the girl by punching Craft in the face. That didn’t go over too well.
Craft picked up a chainsaw to attack his stepson, but he couldn’t get it to start. So he threw it, and went to get his weedeater. And it wouldn’t start, so he threw that too. He didn’t hit anybody, but he sure was mad, as evidenced by the pacing around and ranting “You’re dead, you’re all dead!”
The stepson took the eleven year old girl and two other children who were in the home, and left. Y’know, I’d just like to interject that the stepson really should come hang out here, because I think we’d like him. He’s definitely my kind of people. Anyway.
After the stepson left, Craft kept throwing a fit. His wife said that Craft picked up a wooden statue and went to town, beating the hell out of the house. Then he stormed out, and Mrs. Craft, concerned for her wingnut husband, chose to follow him on foot. Which probably was not a great idea, because Ol’ Bob tried to swerve up on the sidewalk to hit her. Twice! Mrs. Craft was a little more agile than the car, so she did manage to get inside a neighbor’s gate to get away.
Robert Stanley Craft, who is also known as Bob Craft, Bob Hatch, Robert James Green, and Mark John James, was arrested at the scene on SaturdaySaturday reviews
and booked into Salt Lake County Jail. He was charged with fourteen crimes, including aggravated assault, domestic violence, child abuse, violating a protective order, criminal mischief, simple assault, and driving without a valid license.
Looks like he’s already out on bond, though, so if you live in the area of 800 East and Stratford Avenue in Salt Lake, stay off the sidewalks and away from the lawn tools. He might get luckier next time.
SoJaded hit me to this one in the forums – thanks!
10:13 pm on August 8th, 2008
I’ll bet you anything that it was a chain-saw carving that he’d made himself!
11:46 pm on August 8th, 2008
weed eater attack! eek!
2:24 pm on August 9th, 2008
The crazy eyes are just too much – chainsaw chucking man is giving me the giggles.
7:54 am on August 10th, 2008
I think the word “inept” was coined with losers like this one in mind. He strikes me as the perfect example. And can I just add: Thank goodness for that!!
2:15 pm on August 10th, 2008
I agree. I’ve got an empty bedroom he can have anytime he wants it. He can even bring mom & the other kids. I won’t mind sleeping on the couch for a chance that this bunch could separate themselves from Bobby Boy.
BTW, I was thinking it was good for the stepson that Bob-o couldn’t get the chainsaw started, but it was even better for Bob-o himself. The shit-for-brains probably would have cut his own damn head off
9:19 pm on August 13th, 2008
When I look at this dude’s face, the voice I hear comming out of his mouth is Carl’s (Bill Murray’s) from the movie Caddy Shack…
“Misses Crane…. I am looking at you… You thought you can hide…. I can see you… Your a naughtly little monkey woman….. ”
Hahahaha! Classic.
You think you had a bad day at work today? Imagine if you were a mental health therapist at the Salt Lake City jail and you were the lucky employee that drew the short straw and had to meet with this wacko and calm him down… Yikes!
12:25 pm on August 19th, 2008
Do I detect a whiff of methface here?
2:03 pm on October 3rd, 2008
What a douchebag! By the looks of the picture above, he also missed several haircut appointments! MORON
Think you got something worth saying? Type it out. If you don't wanna look lame, get rid of that default avatar and go get you a gravatar! Tell 'em Morbid sent ya'. Lastly, as far as we are concerned, posting a comment means that you have read our Disclaimer.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Search Dreamin’ Demon
Login
The Dreamin Demon Wants You
Check ‘Em Out!
Recent Comments
Recent Media Reviews
Twitter
Your Ad Here
Facebook Crap
Drink The Kool-Aid
Archives
Kickass Sites
Copyright © 2009 · Except where otherwise noted, content on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License · DreaminDemon Blood Red theme by Lee Malta.
Get a Blog · WordPress · Log in