Cape May, NJ - But not hair care products, it appears. Robert Martin, 47, is a Jersey clam digger. He also loves his leopard print seat covers, his Bible, his crucifix, his naked Barbies, his porn, and the ladies’ thong he kept on a gold platter on the dashboard of his car. But was having all that stuff in his parked car a crime? New Jersey said a big “HAIL YEAH” when Martin was arrested last week and charged with maintaining a public nuisance and a weapons violation.
Police say that Martin had been parking his car for several months at the Ocean View Service Plaza on the Garden State Parkway. He’d then get a ride into Atlantic City for his clamdigging job. But while he left his car parked at the plaza, people walking by were exposed to what police call “a public nuisance”. Martin calls it his “private shrine”.
A few weeks ago, customers at the service plaza started complaining to employees about the dashboard and interior of Martin’s 80s-model black sedan. Arranged neatly on the camel leather back seat were porn boxes, magazines, DVDs, a Bible, and a cross. The front seats held leopard-print tank-top style seat coveres, a black leather studded belt, more porn, some ladies’ underwear, and a homemade shank-style knife. On the dashboard sat a naked Barbie doll and a golden platter, on which lay a lovely pair of ladies’ butt floss.
Finally, an employee called the law. Too many parents were complaining that their children were getting an eyeful, and employees who went to look found themselves a little freaked out, too. As Christie Ostrander, who works at the plaza, said, “It was a mixture of pornography, a Bible, cross, it was all laid out perfectly. Nobody should have to really be exposed to that.”
Robert Martin was arrested last Wednesday after parking his car at the plaza. Authorities confiscated his porn, his panties, and his Barbie. They took the shank he says he was just using to get the cassettes out of the tape player. They even took the cross - but they did leave his Bible, his belt and those leopard print seat covers. Martin was charged with the public nuisance and the weapons violation, but bonded out the same day.
Says Martin, “The only regret I do have is probably having the Barbie doll up on the dash board. Being topless, maybe that drew some attention…. I can just say anybody that’s out there, if you have any pornographic material in your car whatsoever, do not have it in your car.”
When asked what he thought about the whole situation, Martin said, “The whole thing was just majorly way overblown.” Kind of like your hair, Robert Martin. Kind of like your hair.
44 responses so far ↓
1
Kathy
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:05 am -He looks like botox abuse.
and is he wearing lip gloss?
Oh yeah, if he thinks the naked Barbie is what got him jailed, then I think I need to start saving bail money for my daughter. They could be coming for her any day now.
2
V
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:07 am -That man is Scugly. He reminds me of a cross between Don King and Alien. Ick, poor Barbie!
3
Morbid
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:31 am -Video added.
4
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:32 am -That picture…Wow.
Of course, being a creepy mofo shouldn’t be enough to get you jailed. The weapons charge? Sure. But, the rest of the stuff? People shouldn’t have the right to be free from offense or inconvenience, but more and more, they do. We should be careful about creating a homogenous society.
After all, without guys like this, how will be define “normal”?
5
Hippiepoet
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:32 am -Hahahhahahaha OMFG Kathy, I laughed myself silly when I read your comment, because I was thinking as I was reading Imp’s exquisite right up…….”Damn I gotta bunch of naked barbies hanging around my house, holyfuck, what if the coppers stop by?” lol
And yeah, I think that shiny lip scene going on is probably chapstick. He looks like the type of guy that never leaves home with the chapstick in his pocket…..just in case. Ya know?
6
impqueen
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:34 am -Shanks!
7
tray-bay-bay
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:35 am -Jesus Frogs! I’d think the hairdo would be his worst offense. What a freaky looking dude!
8
sugarglider
Jul 14, 2008 at 11:45 am -I love how his look in the video channels *Flashdance* to a T.
How odd that he laid out his porn next to a cross and a bible.
That said, I hope this guy won’t be taking up jail-space while people more worthy of it walk free…
9
sarabei
Jul 14, 2008 at 12:00 pm -He would creep me out more than the contents of his car! That HAIR…OMG…what was he THINKING!!!
10
Harley_Tech
Jul 14, 2008 at 12:05 pm -Were there any sonograms in the car?
He can be found posting here http://www.dreamindemon.com/20.....o-no-good/ under the name Melvin J.
R
11
Ruby
Jul 14, 2008 at 12:24 pm -Aw, hell, I shouldn’t have watched the video, because he seems far more normal. I somehow wanted him to be as ‘mondo bizarro’ as his mugshot. Is that so wrong?
12
the shiznet
Jul 14, 2008 at 12:57 pm -Oh crap, if they ever come check out the inside of my minivan I’m going down. I have 4 kids, there’s naked dolls of all shapes and sizes, there’s laundry left over from various sleepovers, maybe even some underwear. I’m also pretty sure the back seat is a Nick Jonas shrine. Yeah, it’s a mess, but I never realized it was a crime. Especially since it’s inside my personal property. Seriously, how do people know what was in the guy’s backseat unless they were peering inside. I don’t know what’s in the backseat of the car parked next to me because I DONT LOOK! What a bunch of nosy assholes.
13
Harley_Tech
Jul 14, 2008 at 12:59 pm -Not at all, the video was a letdown for me as well.
R
14
WryBread
Jul 14, 2008 at 1:02 pm -Athena! You had me laughing out loud!
15
Jack Shizz
Jul 14, 2008 at 1:06 pm -Give the guy a break…this is nothing compared to the actual scum we usually read about up here. The horrors those people must be dealing with having seen WOMENS PANTIES (GASP!) on his dashboard. At least he is working and isn’t purposefully harming people
16
captainhowdy
Jul 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm -my friend’s comment re: the mugshot:
“did Gary Busey fuck a tree stump?”
(btw, i used to post here as blahblahblah, but i lost my password and couldn’t retrieve it. so hi again.)
17
thepooh5
Jul 14, 2008 at 2:00 pm -What a cup of shit. Of all the real crimes going on and they’re actually wasting police manpower and tax dollars on this guy.
Ya know, all those people getting offended - well if they hadn’t been noisy asses LOOKING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S CAR they would not have been offended. Or at the very least, once they nosed their way into his car and got offended - why did they keep looking over and over again? You know they could have said, “Oh, that’s the weird guys car, lets walk our kids around another car instead of his.”
I can’t believe the guy was actually arrested, when others can’t be touched, for far worse “freedom of speech” issues than that - like telling pedos the best places to look at kids. Where are his constitutional rights? This is nothing more than “others” being able to impose their beliefs or “will” on him.
And I agree 100% - that hair has to be the biggest crime!! DAYUM!!
Nah, that hair rates DAMN, DAMN AND DOUBLE DAMN! They should arrest his hair stylist, if anyone.
18
Hippiepoet
Jul 14, 2008 at 2:18 pm -Right on, Pooh……..hahahahahhahaha!!!
19
solange822001
Jul 14, 2008 at 2:22 pm -LMAO, that was great
20
solange822001
Jul 14, 2008 at 2:28 pm -Dude, what did you guys do? Why do I only have ten seconds to update my comments? That blows lol
What I was going to say is, you rock Robert! If you happen to come on here and read this, we are behind you man! Fight the power!
21
michelle
Jul 14, 2008 at 3:22 pm -What a fucking pic. Pucker up sweet thing.
Porn, never leave home without it.
I had a cassette player like that before, I used a small screwdriver to pop them out I believe.
This is pretty screwed up IMO. Truckers have naked lady silhouettes on their mud flaps and I have seen fake balls hanging from tow rigs.
22
impqueen
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:02 pm -i just wanna rub a balloon on it, see what happens.
23
impqueen
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:06 pm -Honestly, I kinda hope he does. Because seriously, i wanna know what makes this guy tick. I was writing the thing up, thinking, well, HAIL, I bet Morbid’s got worse in his hoopty.
24
thepooh5
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:09 pm -roflmao - yeah, I want in on that experiment. hahahahahaha
25
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:15 pm -I’ve known some awfully eccentric people, in my short time…People who do strange shit just to see if they push buttons. I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy was one of those. I mean, he had a stable job, right? Not that that says anything, necessarily, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was just trying to get a rise out of people.
26
Carolina Girl
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:25 pm -Wow after watching the video he does appear alot more normal than the picture. I have to say his picture really freaked me out when I first saw it. That has to be the worst picture ever. I used to hate my Drivers License picture but not so much after seeing what his mug shot came out like. Wow. Anyway, I dont really see any crime in this, Even if he has the naked barbie’s sitting on the roof of his car, it’s just a barbie.
27
impqueen
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:30 pm -I actually think he was charged more because of the explicit triple-X magazines and DVD covers that were clearly visible through the windows of the car. The undies and barbies were just the, er, icing on the cake, so to speak.
28
Totemic
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:32 pm -Unfortunately in my experience, people are so easily offended by the “implied naked body” then the actual real thing walking down the street. I worked at a retail store while I was going to school and we had clothes falling off the manicans. The people would complain about a plastic body that looks like a frickin barbie doll.
29
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:36 pm -The weapons charge is legit, I assume, but yeah, Imp’s right…Explicit porn in plain sight is enough to warrant a public nuisance charge. Hell, I’ve heard of lawns overgrown too far or ugly decorations warranting similar charges.
30
sugarglider
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:42 pm -I don’t really understand this particular weapons charge. “A pointed shiv”? It doesn’t even sound like a knife, much less a knife anyone who isn’t in jail would use as a weapon. Sounds trumped up–they wanted to get him and his lipgloss-lovin, panty-stashin’ self.
31
ImmortalOne
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:54 pm -This is totally silly. Seriously, why are people looking in other peoples cars anyway? Its his private property, his parking there was legal. This is completely stupid.
32
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:55 pm -You could be right, SG…Wouldn’t be the first time. But, in some jurisdictions, any pointy object longer than a predetermined length will be considered a weapon if the context fits. The pointed chopsticks I use for my hair might not be, but a steel kabob skewer in my back seat could me.
So, I guess what I’m saying is that, yeah, it’s real subjective. However, it’s not entirely arbitrary.
33
Mandella
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:08 pm -Bunch of fuckin’ puritans in New Jersey, eh?
PUH-LEASE.
Bunch of fuckin’ peepin’ toms is more like it, peeking in car windows and then having the fucking gall to offended at what they see?
JEEEEZZZUSSS.
34
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:16 pm -Mandella, I would have been interested in your take on the baristas-in-pasties issue we dealt with over here. Citizens were actually protesting an espresso stand that employed baristas in bikinis.
35
Mandella
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:22 pm -Well, on the fly, my take is that people are fucking idiots. Just a bunch of fucking hypocrites….who doesn’t love breasts? At least they were wearing pasties!!
This society’s shaming of women has gone on far long enough.
Time to switch from anal to oral, people. Time to embrace the glorious boobies, time to stop making young girls hate their bodies and be embarrassed by the development of their budding breasts, time to teach women the power that comes with their moon cycle, time to re-embrace nudity, time to get the fuck over it, people!!!
OK I took it far. But it belongs there. Really.
This puritanistic bullshit has got to go.
Oh, and PS. Janet Jackson’s tit was liberating.
36
Totemic
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:24 pm -And damn good coffee at that
My ‘rents live down the street from the one in Bonney Lake.
37
Athena
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:37 pm -Bonney Lake has a couple and, I must say, Hot-Chicka-Latte doesn’t need barely-clothed, barely-legal beauties baring most everything. The coffee there is solid.
Of course, Bonney Lake is getting out there, a ways. A similar shop opened up in Seattle and hasn’t gotten any opposition, from what I’ve heard.
Mandella - Preach it, sistah. What are we teaching little girls about their bodies when they are considered obscene?
38
RevAnne
Jul 14, 2008 at 5:49 pm -I don’t have sound on my puter at work, but I watched the vid… I agree, he looks so NORMAL in the video, and dare I say… even a little attractive? LOL. But that DL picture has to go. Eeek! Worst picture ever.
39
austin_lady
Jul 14, 2008 at 8:46 pm -Holy shit!!!! That scared the hell out of me.
40
CassieLovejoy
Jul 14, 2008 at 10:07 pm -It never occurred to me that The Todd had a real life counterpart.
41
Wonder
Jul 15, 2008 at 7:45 am -I agree this doesn’t belong here, the employee of the parking facility is smiling when she is interviewed… she thinks its funny. Martin does appear normal on the video…. but I do have to say that pix made me jump / scared me when I scrolled down on the main news page… its like he is transforming to the teenage wolf… its the teeth and cheeks more so then the hair. Poor guy didn’t hurt anyone and he does have a job… right on Jack!
LOL imp at the ladys butt floss
42
MissRight
Jul 15, 2008 at 8:47 am -omg-I just logged on, and taking a drink of my coffeee-when bam-I saw this and spit out my coffee-what in the HELL is that? lol
43
jenjen0135
Jul 17, 2008 at 8:35 pm -What the hell? Thos mags were legal to buy- they just have to be hidden in the store, and the barbies just happen to lose their clothes really easily, and the bible, well? Dang! What if he were living in his car? I don’t think it’s anybody’s damn business to be peekin in his car and deciding what is appropriate to put on your freakin’ dashboard! I kind of feel like it is like a cop having to have a warrant to search inside someone’s house…Was there something illegal there that gave them cause to arrest him? WTF!!!? Keep your damn eyes on your own car ya’ damn nosy’s!!!
I don’t think there will be much of a court case to this one–I would fight the hell out of it, just based on principal! He did sound a lot more decent than he looks~~:) Not all of us can be tree-stump spawn, i suppose!
44
Rory28
Oct 8, 2008 at 1:44 am -All kids have to do to see pornography is go into a 24/7 corner store…go to a magazine rack…and look up…might not see the WHOLE cover…but…takes about as much effort as lookin’ in some dudes window ;-)…LOL
…Would you be arrested if you had a statue of david mural on the hood of your car?…Cuz if so,there is a REGISTERED BUSKER in my city who needs to be arrested RIGHT QUICK…because he re-creates OLD art,but on the sidewalk downtown,and quite often there those taistefull nekkid women of the ole times…Yet this dude wears his badge,REGISTERED by/to the city… …Kids and parents walk by him daily…LOL… …NO i don’t actually feel that way…Im just sayin…you know?…
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