Timothy Placko Is Up To No Good
Timothy Placko
Port St. Lucie, FL - Timothy J. Placko, 24, decided to go for a peaceful drive Sunday night. So he steered his Chevy Astro van to a wooded area south of N.W. North Torino Parkway and down a dirt trail. The low temp for Port St. Lucie yesterday was about 72 degrees–pretty pleasant. Maybe he was driving with his window down. If so, I bet he heard some wildlife, some nightbirds, the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves. Peaceful. Until the damn cops pulled him over.
But, hey, this sounds reasonable. A van out on a Sunday night in a deserted area, not even on paved roads. Could mean somebody’s in trouble. Lost. Drunk. Suicidal. Could mean someone’s up to no good. Looking for a place to pull over so that $20 you gave the hooker winds up being $50 of service. Gonna do your bit for the planet and dump some used motor oil, dead batteries, and old tires.
As it turns out, boo, cops. Tim wasn’t lost, or drunk, or suicidal, or about to bilk a hooker or dump garbage. Dude was just reading.
Yeah, reading. And what was he reading? Sonograms. You know, those computerized pictures taken by bouncing sound waves off organs and other interior parts. Every expectant mother you know has shown you one (or will, just wait). Yep, Timmy was just perusing sonograms he’d found on the Internet and printed off.
Yikes.
Naturally, police were slightly taken aback by this unusual adjunct to a Sunday evening drive and asked to search the van. Placko gave permission, leading to the discovery of a number of strange items, including a blond wig, rope, binoculars, an 18-inch machete, knives, gloves, and two spent 9-mm shell casings. Why are the words “possible serial killer” running through my head?
Oh, wait, the teeth. Did I mention the teeth? Police also found 18 human teeth inside a film canister.
Items found in Placko’s van
Tim first told police he’d driven to the wooded area to phone his girlfriend but after questioning admitted he wasn’t calling anyone. He was just driving around. As for the source of the strange items in his van, Tim said that with the exception of the teeth, all were gifts from his girlfriend. (I have got to get me a girlfriend like that!) He reported having found the human teeth while rummaging through the garbage.
Timothy Placko was arrested and charged with carrying a concealed weapon.
UCat hit this is our forums and commented, “I hope he doesn’t have a hostage out in those woods, about to give birth.” Amen to that.
I go with the unnatural interest in female interior anatomy (e.g., could a uterus become a cool stash bag?) theory if it’s not just a stupid-move-to-sit-in-the-woods-at-night-and-beam-over-becoming-a-father situation.
I agree, Lapus, one should try to be kind. And he spelled losers as “loosers” once and then topped every other ignorant ranter by spelling it “looosers.” You gotta love someone who pioneers new ground in this arena.
I’m sure your parents are proud.
Lapus, isn’t this too precious? “Smere” shows an innate talent of some sort.
Christ on a cracker, will someone in Florida high schools please get a grip and start teaching the difference between slander and libel, and which is which and why media coverage including blog entries is neither?
Ye gods. And here i thought the guy had a lick of sense and was just pretending to be an idiot. Gah.
Best. Morbid. Comment. Ever. I love you, man.
This little warped potential serial killer needs to be burned at the stake.
Also found in his van, an MP3 player with nothing but banjo music on it.
A friend of theirs emailed me and said that they use the sling shot to fire Gerbils at each others asses. Melvin, are you a Gerbil rancher?
It may be that ol’ Timmy here was just cleaning up after reaming Melvin’s asshole for him. Maybe Melvin ran away skeeeerd when the cops showed up.
After seeing Mel’s Myspace, the wig thing kinda leads one to believe it was a pitcher/catcher relationship between these two.
Tell me Melvin, when Timmy is corn holing you, and he grabs that wig and it comes off in his hands, is that a mood killer?
Melvin, are you a squealer? You sure have done a lot of squealing here.
Was it painful having all your teeth pulled so you could give ol Timmy that special hummer? I think it was nice of you to let ol Timmy keep them as a little memento of your love for him.
How are those rope burn marks healing Mel?
R
You’r right, Wrybread! A savant! I knew one would show up sooner or later!
ROFL!
bump
*three bottles clink together* clink clink clink Meeeelvin, come out to play. clink clink clink Meeeeelvin, come out to play. clink clink clink
Harley, behave, man!
The Warriors….
My favorite line from that movie seems very fitting here for ol’ Timmy. “I’m gonna make you look like a pop-cicle with that thing.”
R
Absolutely terrifying.
I love Morbid as well! Welcome to the site, Melvin J (or ratfucker) as you prefer to be called.
First: I am also a friend of Tims when he used to live in IL, and I have seem some odd things but beneath it all I do see a decent human being. I myself am a weird person and can understand having some odd things laying around.
Second: Most of the folks who came on to defend Tim seem like they don’t spend a lot of time on internet forums based on the level of butthurt they exhibited. teh internets is serious business. To my fellow friends of Tim, forums usually have their select community/cliques. When you come in here to defend Tim but bash them at the same time, what do you expect them to do but defend their friends as well.
Third: Melvin, you are a terrible troll. I applaud YOUR efforts but you still fail. I made YOUR capitol due to the fact that you need to learn the difference between you’re/you are and your. I’m not sure how YOU’RE qualified to be an aerospace mechanist but kudos I suppose.
Finally: I appreciate the fact that the members of this community are odd enough to realize that this is probably just a case of wrong place wrong time.
I am leaving for my lunch now so I will not be able to respond to any comments for an hour or so. Be back later.
Welcome to the site, Dblaze. You hit the nail on the head with every single point you posted.
Welcome Dblaze. I do have one complaint. You can’t just come in here spouting that you have all of this knowledge and not share more than you did! What’s the matter with you?
Just kiddin’, what else can you add about Tim? While I do find him odd, I can’t at this point, find anything criminal. And, I can say, I have been caught up in whirlwinds of shit, while being innocent of the crime. Wrong place, wrong time or guilt by association - pick one. I do believe it happens.
Fair Enough.
I wouldn’t even go as far as to call myself one of his best friends, but I have spent a good amount of time with him. He was unique which is why I think I took to him. His brother was in the military and I’m sure some of his influence went into Tim’s fascination with death/guns/etc. When I first met him it was in a poker game with some mutual friends and I had called him, indirectly, an idiot. He was ready to defend his honor in an instant, quick tempered, but was easy persuaded with reason from our friends. That night he actually gave me a ride home and he was listening to The Police - Walking on the Moon. I myself happen to be a big fan or The Police so I started talking to him about music. We ended up sitting in my driveway for a good hour, making out (haha jk), talking about music. He is a person, just like you and me. We all have our problems we all have our foibles, but he was/is a good friend. In the time I got to know him he seemed like the type who would put his own life on the line for anyone he was willing to call a friend.
Thats just a brief little description I am willing to provide. I am not going to divulge any personal info I know about him or his family due to respect, and I feel that the people who have come in here did an excellent job of maintaining the same level of mutual respect for him. In all honesty the comment made about him becoming a welcomed/contributing member is probably spot on. From what I’ve read here, and just knowing the “internet community” in general he would fit in well with all of our weird asses.
Thank you for the warm welcome and I feel bad as I already have an attachment to another internet group. So my activity here will be limited if not completed limited to this thread. I’ll make sure to put a little bookmark on this one and I hope Tim comes to give an update otherwise I’ll have to talk to our buddies around here to see what’s up.
Wow. Likes the Police, plays poker, keeps a collection of strange shit in his vehicle, interested in morbid subjects…damn…maybe I am related.
DAMMIT!
I was hoping at first that Tim would come and join us, and then you showed up, and I thought, “Oh, yeah, dblaze would be good.” Now I find out you’re already committed!
Why are all the good Internet posters already taken, why, God, why?
It’s just not fair.
Thank you for sharing and your class.
hahah *sheds single tear*
It seems like y’all have a great community here as it is. I find it funny that every forum I go to, most people get butthurt at a little razzing when that is what the internet is all about.
I also like how most of you use excellent spelling/grammar. One of my biggest annoyances is poor grammar/spelling.
Thanks for the hospitality.
I also like how most of you use excellent spelling/grammar. One of my biggest annoyances is poor grammar/spelling.
Hot. Will inebriation encourage you to cheat on your internet community? Talking Jesus will be around here eventually, and I’m sure he’s got a spare bottle to *poof* your way. What do you drink?
I mean, I’d hate to be the other internet community, but I’d be willing to accept a little attention from a poster of your caliber in lieu of committment…
I don’t throw my internet community at posters very often. I implore you to consider.
Damn. I wonder how Tim feels about Stewart Copeland’s forays into opera and ballet? I really might find myself rethinking the dude if he says a big “yes” to Holy Blood and Crescent Moon.
And seriously, Morbid, we all know he’s your cousin or he never woulda made the front page. C’mon. I bet you’re related to Barbie Boy, too.
Word. I mean, i cheated on my internet community and ended up married to this site, so it totally happens. You can find true site love online, if only you look in the right place.
Plus, i think we’re probably cuter, collectively, than the majority of internet communities. And maybe just a little bit smarter, with a side of funk, and Jaded cynicism, but not without a little wide-eyed hope from time to time.
Also, Morbid says he’s gonna clean the couch. He swears.
Oh, baby, we’ve actually been called “spelling/grammar NAZIS” on more than one occasion! Swear! I think you’ll be sticking with us, oh, yes I do.
Believe it when I see it…just sayin
R
butz I getz a pass sinz da all knowz I’z a dum azz
R
Ruby, i love it when you talk dirty.
Swoon.
Butthurt? What that? Just reading it makes my butt hurt. One the other hand, maybe it should make my but thurt.
Butthurt is a term used for people who get flamed/ridiculed online and can’t handle the heat. Thus their butt is hurt, like sodomy :). See also: Sandy Vag Syndrome. I would love to join in on the fun here on a daily basis, but I think that it would be too hard juggling the relationships (that sounded ubernerdy). Plus I’m unaware of how to navigate this site as of yet. I took a look at your forums and they are huge, and I think I would find myself just comment on the News headlines.
You are probably right. Tho, I’m not sure how much of an active poster I will be. In the meantime we will make this adulterous thread our little secret so the other community won’t get hurt/butthurt. haha
In the meantime we will make this adulterous thread our little secret so the other community won’t get hurt/butthurt.
Just so long as you think of us while you’re typing love to them…
(God, I’m tacky.)