Lawrence “YEAH YOU KNOW IM SEXXY” Auler
Anderson, IN - On his MySpace profile, Lawrence Eugene Auler, 44, describes himself as having “A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR” and “SEXY LOOKS.” I have to question the accuracy of that, cuz he sure ain’t got sexy looks, and he also says he weighs 280 pounds. AS IF! I guess if he were going for accuracy, he’d say “FAT SLOB PREPUBESCENT GIRL MOLESTER.”
Lawrence says he’s separated from his wife of 16 years and is working a part-time temp job, which explains why he’s been living with some family acquaintances. Acquaintances who happen to have children. Acquaintances who allowed Lawrence to occasionally watch their children. Like, unattended.
Every good babysitter has a plan of action, some activities in mind to keep the kiddies busy and out of trouble. Lawrence’s plan of action included games. Especially with the 6-year-old girl. Well, okay, mainly with the 6-year-old girl. But instead of throwing a bean bag, spinning the wheel, or rolling a die, Lawrence touched the little girl’s genitals. And since you have to take turns when you play a game, Lawrence had the little girl touch his genitals. For that little bit of extra game-playing suspense, he also engaged in a bit of tongue-kissing with her. FUN! While apparently the girl’s 10-year-old brother was generally excluded from the festivities, he did walk in on Lawrence French-kissing his little sister. Lawrence’s response? Why, he told both of them he’d whip them if they told anyone.
Shockingly, when arrested this week, Lawrence denied any wrongdoing. However, when asked by police what the children might have said, he allowed as to how they probably told the officer “about the ’sexual predator game’ that he had played with them.” According to Lawrence, this game is akin to “playing house,” where he’s the Daddy and the 6-year-old is the Mommy. And of course there’s the bit about him performing sex acts on a child and forcing her to reciprocate.
But wait! Before you condemn Lawrence, you should at least hear his side of things. After all, according to him, it was the little girl’s idea to play the sexual predator game, so really it was all her fault. He was man enough to at least admit to “asking” the children not to tell anyone, since “he might be sent away for a long time.” We can hope, can’t we?
To be honest, I’m afraid we’ll hear more about this fat sack of shit before it’s all said and done. If you believe in a higher power, pray that I’m wrong. Back in April, a MySpace friend who says she’s 17 commented, “partying with you this weekend lawrence!” Pray that I’m wrong, because Lawrence playing the sexual predator game with one little 6-year-old is bad enough.
P.S. Madison County Sheriff’s Office records clock Lawrence in at 310 pounds. Told ya.
Thanks, So Jaded!
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15 responses so far ↓
1
evil1
Jul 4, 2008 at 8:44 am -they coulda just played dressup bad santa comes to mind
2
LL44
Jul 4, 2008 at 8:49 am -pig. he’s nothing but slovenly pig.
Yeah, when I was 6… I wanted to play the Sex Predator game, too….
Who thinks this shit up? And then thinks it’s believable!?
3
Harley_Tech
Jul 4, 2008 at 9:46 am -Taken from a posting he made to a girls myspace that claims the girl is 19…no way she is, but that is what her myspace says.
“LAWRENCE YEAH YOU KNOW IM SEXXY”
http://www.myspace.com/katie41988
May 3 2008 10:19 AM
MY HOME NUMBER IS 644-5669.CELL IS 765-425-0123.I’D LIKE TO TALK ALSO. IF YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND BREAK UP I’M HERE FOR YOU.YOURS,LAWRENCE.
R
imma get in trouble for this one…LOL
4
What Would Satan Do
Jul 4, 2008 at 9:58 am -I hope he won’t be put away for too long.
His roomies will find out in a hurry what he’s there for, they’ve got their own Predator games they like to play…and Larry doesn’t look like he’s in any shape to win that game.
Plus, I can’t wait to show him the extra special secret games we play down here!
5
Harley_Tech
Jul 4, 2008 at 9:59 am -Damn!!! the number has been changed….SHIT!
I had a nice message for him too.
My day is ruined. damn damn damn!
R
6
SoUncool
Jul 4, 2008 at 1:00 pm -Nice story Lizard!
How bout we all play the “Beat the Shit out of the Child Molester” game? In this game, nobody gets to go first. We all get to beat the shit out of him at the same time! Ah, good times, good times…
7
Unamused Cat
Jul 4, 2008 at 1:36 pm -In what alternate universe would that piece-o-crap be considered sexy?
8
WryBread
Jul 4, 2008 at 1:39 pm -Well, maybe compared to a dead person. One that has been lying around for a good, long time.
9
Concerned Citizen
Jul 4, 2008 at 4:57 pm -Who I’d like to meet:
SLIM/SLENDER GIRL 4′11″-6′3″ 180-198LBS.ANY HAIR/EYE COLOR ANY NATIONALITY 18-45 YS.OLD.GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.FRIENDS FIRST THEN GO FROM THERE.
Slim/slender GIRL huh?
Why does she have to be slim? Looking for someone to smother with your affection?
Ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWW!
I think I just threw up a little.
10
solange822001
Jul 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm -Damn Harley, I’m disappointed too lol. I couldn’t wait to hear the outcome
11
Hippiepoet
Jul 5, 2008 at 1:17 pm -What a nasty fucking pig, and you know his balls are all sweaty and nasty smelling. Fuck that! Pervertmotherfucker……
12
LeeMouse
Jul 5, 2008 at 1:22 pm -That’s where the “great sense of humor” comes in.
13
Lilbay
Jul 5, 2008 at 3:30 pm -Sounds like from the comments that the 17 year old goes there to smoke weed. I am wondering if that is not his way of attracting these youngsters at least the teens to him why in heck else would a teen want to be bothered with him for.
My new breed name for these jack offs
Sickivious basturdavis
14
sugarglider
Jul 7, 2008 at 9:21 pm -Since when is 180-198 lbs “SLIM/SLENDER”? Well, I guess when you’re a useless bastardy 310 lbs of sitnking lard, that might seem svelte. Piece of shit.
15
Alladin Howryn
Jul 11, 2008 at 10:50 pm -Maybe he’s into bodybuilders who want a 310 lb. weight at home.
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