Gabriel Ross Is Only A Lad
NEW ALBANY, Ind. - Here is a story I am a bit conflicted with because of some of my opinions in regards to our current school system and how unruly children, or children who are unable to interact with other kids without disrupting the classes they are in. See, 5-year-old Gabriel Ross took a hidden tape recorder to school, on behalf of his parents, after months of explaining to them that his teacher, S. Ellen Jones Elementary teacher Kristen Woodward, was mean to him. What they caught was Mrs. Jones verbally berating the 5-year-old in front of his class.
In case you didn’t watch the video, some of the choice snippets are:
“You’ve punished everyone in this building with your behavior. Everyone has been affected by your nasty behavior. Everyone. Cafeteria workers, the monitors, the art teacher, music teacher … ten people in this building you have tormented and tortured for 149 days. I’m done.”
“You’ve been ignorant, selfish, self-absorbed, the whole thing.”
At one point, she even addresses the class stating “He has made every wrong choice possible and he has had more help to make right choices and he has chose not to.” and then asks the class “So you guys think, is that somebody you want to be with?” The class answers in unison, “Noooo.”
Kristen Woodward is now on paid administrative leave, and Gabriel’s parents took him out of the school the day after hearing the tape.
Of course, this all just sounds terrible for the kid…but then it also seems as if little Gabriel has a daily behavior folder full of all kinds of crap about him talking continuously, not having a good day, interrupting the class, etc. I do not know this boy’s parents, but I know of some with kids like Gabriel. Kids who disrupt classrooms day after day leaving a teacher with no recourse aside from telling the parents…who do nothing about it. I am not sure this is the case here, but The Indiana State Teachers Association is standing up for Woodward. She has been teaching for 13 years and they say the school system went too far with the suspension and didn’t give Woodward a fair chance to give her side of the story.
I would love to hear it. I already have pretty good idea what she is going to say if it is not a carefully written response by her lawyer. I would guess that she was at the end of her rope dealing with a kid who would not allow her to do her job for 149 days and without any avenue left to take in order to resolve the situation. Anyone want to bet that the t4eacher has been in contact with the parents on numerous occasions?
I love this part…the step-father says that recorder he got his son to carry in his pants pocket one day was a smart investment. Now he hopes to get someone smart to help his son’s psyche.
“We seriously need to find somebody to talk with Gabriel to see if he’s alright, because this experience for 149 days - as far as I’m concerned that’s how long it went on.”
I wonder if the teacher should have done the same. Show the parents what she is dealing with on a daily basis. Maybe help the parents find somebody to talk to Gabriel..not for his psyche, but to find out why he cannot do what the majority of his classmates do and shut the fuck up. But hey, that’s just me. What do you guys think? Am I wrong here? Is the teacher out of line? Does Gabriel need to be separated from his class mates and placed in a separate class with other kids like him like they used to do when I went to school?
I’ll back up and say this: the teacher may have very well been at her wit’s end. I would condone any actions or verbal attacks she may have committed had she been addressing adults. In fact, I wouldn’t care or blame her if she had taken a shit on the hood of the parents car, but this verbal, mental attack and as much as, getting the whole classroom to gang up with her, on this 5 year old boy is utterly and completely unacceptable to me as a parent.
Ah, yes! - another from my own heart.
I believe she WAS at her wit’s end. And I don’t blame her for being so. I’m sure this boy is a pain in the ass. Even HE knows he is. But walk away. Ask for someone to watch the classroom while you take a break for a minute. Take the boy with you so you can have some time to talk quietly together. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Clearly this boy is troubled in some regard. If he were blind or otherwise disabled, she would not be permitted to treat him like a piece of shit because he wasn’t capable of participating on the same level as the other students. Being a troubled boy / girl is a disability for the child. He doesn’t want to be a pain in the ass. He doesn’t want to be different from the other kids. He doesn’t want for people to hate him.
If the teacher can’t get herself under control, how can she help this student? And involving the other kids in the classroom was beyond reproach. Shame on her for turning the other kids into judge and jury. They’re just as much victims in this as the little boy that is the subject of this story.
Grrrrr.
As someone who has Asperger’s disorder (one of autism spectrum disorders) I am torn on this one. Yes this kid has a disability that makes it difficult for him to be on the same level as his peers, at the same time that is not a reason in itself for him to be allowed to behave in a disruptive manner. Maybe the teacher did take things too far, but why were the parents letting this go on for so long. Did they ever go into the school and have a meeting with his teacher, principle, and a school Psychologist and discuss ways to both help him better understand what is appropriate behavior in a school setting, and ways that the teacher can help him when he is unable to comply.
This is why I love Kathy boys and girls!! That is not how one deals with a 5 year old; not a parent, caregiver or teacher should be that cruel to a child. He is 5 not 15. I do not care if he is disruptive or not. There is no excuse for abuse whether it is emotion or physical. There are a hundred different things this teacher could have done but she chose to publicly humiliate a 5 year old. I don’t excuse that anymore than I excuse the mom who is pms’ing, tired and having a bad day for abusing her child. Perhaps she is in the wrong profession or at the very least teaching the wrong grade level.
What the teacher did on that tape was bullying. There is no other word for it. I am sure she was at her wits end, but she is supposed to be the grown-up.
Her only defence would be if she had already tried to appeal to him in private and told him many of these things in a less abbrasive manner one-on-one and was not heard, but I somehow doubt she made that attempt…….
According to the father, they did. 2 weeks into the school year. They got no cooperation from the teacher.
I caught that earlier, but I have to question the step dad. It seems he’s just now saying that - maybe not.
I’m thinking its crap, because, had a teacher been uncooperative with me, I would have went to the principal. Why didn’t they, if the teacher didn’t cooperate?
I’m not excusing the teacher in any way - she is shit. I just think the parents should not have, no matter who was at fault, let this go on all school year. I think the parents ignored the kid until they couldn’t anymore and just now devised the plan to catch her.
Maybe the parents did go to school two weeks in, like he said. But they didn’t get any results, so why didn’t they keep going back or go over her head? I think the parents are solely to blame for allowing this to continue this long. Either they needed to deal with an abusive teacher and they did not or they needed to deal with the boy’s bad behavior and didn’t. They needed to step up a whole lot sooner, IMHO.
Then I would think that as a parent you would go above the teacher. I am not placing the blame on the parents mind you, but my own parents actually had me pulled from one elementary and placed in another within the school district. Now if that was not an option in the case then I would have at least tried to get a change of class for him.
I also wonder if the teacher had training on dealing with students with disabilities. I think it would shock people if they knew how little of them do, I was in third grade by the time I had a teacher take notice of the fact that I was Dyslexic and suffering from Central Auditory Processing Disorder (the latter of which can be an aspect of Aspergers)
Yeah, the comment the parents made about the parent\teacher conference made the “meeting” sound like it ended with the teacher blowing smoke in their face while she stubbed the cigarette out on the kids head.
IF the teacher did act like that, stating she didn’t have time for this, I ask why the parents didn’t go over her head. I would have. No offense, but if this kid has emotional\behavioral problems to the extent they alleged in the report, he has no business in a classroom like that. He needs special ed or something. There are 20+ sets of parents who have kids who are not acting like this and are expecting their children to be educated in some fashion…not have the classroom continually disrupted.
The way the teacher brought up other people, this kid is well known and an obvious issue at the school.
This may sound snarky, but it is meant sincerely: I think that is very large of you.
But the “Nooo” from the other children was still rather tentative. They were trying to please the authority figure who was obviously upset. Who would at five had dared to say: “Yes, we still want him in class” in the face of grown-up disapproval?
*sigh*
The issue was allowed to go on far too far. No doubt about it. Some adult is to blame, parent or teacher, the jury is still out here; but no five-year-old should have to hear what that woman said from a person in control of any aspect of his life.
Behavior change is a process and it can be slow. Sometimes a lifetime of slow. Hell, I’m “normal” and 43 years old and still can’t resist an impulse to eat a pound of m&m’s at the end of a long day!
So even if this teacher had “tried everything” and the parents were cooperating, the proverbial “success” should not have been anticipated. It’s not like one day he doesn’t know how to sit still, keep quiet, put his hands in his lap and the next day… Voila! He’s all better now! That’s just not going to happen with this boy or any other child suffering with from a neurological spectrum disorder.
In fact, the teacher couldn’t control HER impulse to go all crazy on this kid, in front of the whole classroom! Frankly, in this boy’s eyes, he won. He wore her down and SHE ended up looking the fool. He learned a LOT from this.
Which is exactly why he should have never been allowed to continually disrupt that classroom or in my opinion, even be allowed inside it. It would benefit him more, as well as the other kids in the class, if he were in a school or class that has staff trained in these types of disorders and are more equipped to facilitate him and his needs.
It’s not fair to the teacher or students when she has to devote the majority of their time not teaching the students, but rather controlling one of them.
I wonder if the parents were ever told this. There are some people who still believe that Learning Disabled or anyone with a Autism Disorder = Stupid. Which is often not the case. By keeping him in a mainstream classroom not only is disrupting the other students ability to be taught, but also his own chances of getting an education is hurt.
Morbid, I think I love you.
This is my point, too. Those you with special needs kids - I get it, the frustration, how you have to advocate tirelessy to get your kids what they need, the struggles at home, etc. I get it, I get it, I get it. And bless your hearts for having the patience & love in your heart to do so for your kids.
On the flip side - when did we start letting the “non-disruptive, good kids” constantly take the backseat? Their education disrupted? Their one-on-one time with the teacher, their chance to shine, literally stolen away daily by the other kids? I feel for both sides, but let me tell ya…. the kids know what is up, be it 5 or 15. I gave my kids a survey, informal, and anonymous. A LOT of the kids were resentful of the constant disruptions, and the lack of attention they received because they were GOOD- they were starting to perceive that the only way to get attention was to be BAD. That broke my heart as an educator. I try my best to be everywhere at once - but with some of these kids, if I ease up, relax, let my guard down for a few seconds…. everything I have worked SO hard to achieve with my kids, can go to hell in handbasket in a matter of SECONDS.
I tell people who go on & on about how teachers are overpaid, too many holidays, union protected, blah blah blah…. you come & work at my school for ONE week & let me know if I earn my money, my holidays, etc. Getting called a fat-ass bitch 2 weeks before my due date - is that a perk of the job? Having a parent call me Mussolini because I kept their kid in at recess to finish overdue homework? Having a parent write a letter to the newspaper, the school board and to the provincial government to complain about me because I was tending to a primary student with a bloody nose, and some smart-ass know-it-all Gr. 8 kid interferes, though I’m certified in First Aid/CPR, preventing me from treating the injured child?
I personally would NEVER do what this teacher did. But let me tell ya…. I can see it happening to someone who was worn down, emotionally. I know too many teachers on anti-depressants these days. School boards need to wake up - stressed out, unsupported teachers & you’ll be reading lots more stories like this one!
No matter what happened before, this teacher had absolutely NO RIGHT to address this child in this way. She verbally abused this kid, who may ALREADY have problems, because of things he had no control over. If the parents and administration did not help her, it wasn’t the kid’s fault. Yet she took it out on him. That is pure bullshit.
However, I highly doubt that she had done everything she could to get help with this kid. I doubt that everyone ignored her. I’ve met teachers like her. Some people are just mean. This lady sounds like one of them.
I respectfully disagree, Sorrow_Discord. It’s not like the kid had been a student for an extended period of time. It’s quite possible that something WILL work for him in a regular classroom and time will tell in that regard. He’s 5.
I feel compelled to mention also, that much of the damage done to my own son, took place at the hands of the special education teachers he had in elementary school. They thought his mood swings and tantrums were funny and would laugh at him or put him in situations they knew would set him off, on purpose. Then watch it play out. They’re actually the teachers that used the janitor’s closet as a place for him to “calm down.” And of course, the special education room was used primarily for kids with Downs Syndrome, full out autism, mental retardation, etc… Kids who were obviously disabled and received sympathy for their disabilities. My son looked like a total outcast in that setting, as well. And paid the price for it with other students who thought it was okay to be mean to the “rotten kid.” After all, there was nothing “wrong with him” as he looked just like them, so he must just be plain and simple, “bad.”
I don’t think our current educational system is necessarily set up to deal with situations like this, and probably needs a good old-fashioned overhaul, but public humiliation shouldn’t be part of it. These kids are humiliated enough.
I certainly don’t want my kid in that class. My kid is above/on his grade level and I want him to stay there. Gotta take all those fucking SOLs, no child left behind bullshit. I tell you that program my not leave some kids behind, but for many others who are already up to par they just sit bored and unlearning. I know, I have talked to the teachers.
A classroom that is in chaos is not a place of learning and it only takes one kid to make the chaos. I agree that teachers should not spend precious class time trying to control one or two kids.
I still would want to know a lot more about this case, though I can’t see the teacher’s lectures as constructive in any way. It didn’t change the boy’s behavior. He told his parents that the teacher was being mean to him and he proved it. Now my question is, why was the teacher and this boy trapped in the same room day after day when it was clear that nothing positive was going on? And his little record book of behavior demonstrated that long before 149 days were up. What were the alternatives? Why didn’t the school administration help implement them?
Did I miss the part where this kid was diagnosed with anything? I thought it was “others” relating their experiences with this or that disorder or disability. I, at no point, remember anyone saying this particular 5 year old has ADD or ADHD or any of the sort.
I thought we were speculating about he “may have this or that”, now in conversation, this boy is already labeled as ADHD or ADD. I’m not saying he’s not, I just don’t remember where it says he has been diagnosed as anything. In fact, has the child even been tested?
That would be my take on it, as well.
I agree with everyone - on “my side” or not. I understand the concerns for the kids who are ready to learn and I understand the concerns parents have for those children. There just is no simple solution to this problem. No easy fix that’s going to happen overnight. If there is anything we CAN do, it’s talk and do our best to appreciate ALL children for their positive attributes and try to hold our tongues as parents when these kids (diagnosed or not) are presented to us. Our “regular” kids deserve that from us, as well. It’s not “tolerance” we need to teach (I don’t think any child should feel they’re being “tolerated”) but compassion and understanding.
namaste
I don’t know if it’s the case here - but there’s a big problem with parents not giving a shit what their kids do. They’re either too busy at work to deal with them or their kids are too damn special to do any wrong. There’s a community sidewalk by my house. It’s technically on my property but considered an easement for walkers. A group of 8-9 year olds take their skateboards in my neighbor’s yard - then fly over the sidewalk and slam against my house. No big deal. After the 3rd hour of this shit I go out and nicely explain to the little bastards that every time they slam against my house my son has a seizure. One kid literally tells me to go fuck myself. I strolled over to his house and told his parents- get this - his dad tells me to quit being a bitch and let the kids play. Oh, and quit harassing his kids. If I was 8 and told some lady that - well, lets just say my parents would be featured on your front page. But that bozo taught his kid he could do whatever. The teacher might have had dealings with uncooperative parents in the past and was acting from frustration. Must be an Indiana thing. My skateboarding issue actually resolved itself. Someone in the dead of night tore out a huge section of concrete. Did I tell you my father is a contractor …..
What blows me away is that I was reading a recent article that stated there has been a decline in the number of kids diagnosed with learning disabilities and the like because they are now being diagnosed properly…with Autism, Asperger’s and the like. Teachers do not understand and are not properly trained to handle it. Imagine a child with an undiagnosed illness having to be constantly picked on like that; it just breaks my heart.
I really hope that the media gives us more info on this story, I’m sure that there is more to it than we know. Although I still feel the teacher made a mistake, I am more willing to be understanding to her situation, and give her another chance. The lady that voted the kid out of kindergarten, on the other hand, is pure evil.
I’m willing to try and understand the teacher’s side so that anything like this may be prevented in the future, by making administration and parents aware.
However, I don’t care what kind of excuses or facts she has, it will not justify her treatment of this 5 year old child. Anything she would have said to the parents, I would support. Anything she would have said to the administration, who should have been helping the teacher, I would have supported. Hell, if she wanted to call me and bitch, I could live with that.
There will be no excuse that she or anyone else can present that will justify her speaking to that child like that. And the part of getting the class to go along with her - well, I could kick her ass for that, alone.
She may have been justified in each and every emotion she had or it could be just like Kathy said, “some people are just mean.” Regardless, justified or not - IT IS NEVER OK TO SPEAK TO A CHILD LIKE THAT, AT THAT AGE!!!!!
If Gabriel is such a problem then it seems like the school admin. should have had a conference with the parents to figure something out. In no way is this an acceptable method of discipline, this is abuse and the teacher ought to be brought up on charges. It is appalling that the teachers union would stand behind this piece of trash and says much about the state of the Indiana school system. I don’t know on what planet someone would be from to even have a discussion about this being okay. But then America is a “white trash” nation so why would I be surprised?
I’m surprised I didn’t catch this thread earlier.
What a nation of pansies we’ve become. 40 years ago (or some places in the south today), this kid would have been brought in front of the glass and swatted, for christ’s sake. Not to say that was right, or that the way this teacher behaved was responsible, but fuck - we’ve got people talking about how they would have assaulted the teacher, and that she should be charged? The kid got lectured. Get over yourselves.
This story speaks to multiple failures. Both the school and the parents should have handled the situation differently. Still, this coddling nature our nation’s parents have adopted is creating a different kind of failure. Did you know that record numbers of students are having nervous breakdowns in college? It’s not that college has changed…the kids have. Parents treat them like they’re so fragile and incapable that they hit real adversity like a brick fucking wall. I mean, I can’t believe the parents in this case are talking about therapy. Clearly, their inability to handle a situation like this on their own must translate into other aspects of their parenting.
i am defiantly mixed on this one.. there are kids that make you outright nuts. i had to tell a mother that i would no longer watch her child because he was making me insane. he had no respect at all, and would not listen to a word you said, making any disciplinarily action pointless. he thought it was a joke. so i can see after 149 days one might loose ones cool.