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Francis Allen on screamindemon.com

Las Vegas, Nevada – Nevada state Rep. Francis Allen stabbed her husband of seven weeks, Paul Maineri, after he embarrassed her in front of their friends. The couple where sitting on a couch when Allen began pushing Maineri’s forehead and eventually scratched him with her wedding ring. The argument moved into the kitchen where Allen grabbed a knife and stabbed her husband in the forearm.

She then proceeded to lock herself in the bedroom despite pleas from Maineri to help him with his injuries. He states she told him to call his mother, and then left the house. Maineri put the knife in a plastic bag and went to the hospital where his wound was closed with…THREE stitches.

Because Allen is a bit touchy, and she chose to marry a mamma’s boy, she was booked late SaturdaySaturday reviewsSaturday reviews for felony battery with a deadly weapon and for misdemeanor battery for the scratch to Maineri’s forehead. She posted bail on SundaySunday reviewsSunday reviews and was released. Allen was elected in 2004 and is currently up for re-election.

I don’t know what is worse, the fact that she stabbed him for embarrassing her, or the fact that he went to the hospital for a 3-stitch wound. I am guessing he probably started bawling after the scratch to the forehead, and was in complete hysterics after the cut to the arm. Put some goddamn ‘Tussin on it ya’ wuss!

Now with GLORIOUS video!

Edit by Imp:  Since the news video sucked, here’s Chris Rock talking about the Tussin, because we at Dreamin’ Demon want you to get our goofy little subreferences.  Your coolness is important to us!

Comments

22 Comments on "Don’t Embarrass Francis Allen" make up the 115,829 total comments on Dreamin' Demon.

  1. impqueen
    10:15 am on May 21st, 2008

    TUSSIN!

  2. Barbara
    11:34 am on May 21st, 2008

    lol

  3. megamum
    1:51 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Maybe he should just walk it off. That’s what they would tell us when I was little. Stubbed toe, walk it off. Broken kneecap, walk it off…lmao.

  4. megamum
    1:52 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Maybe he should just walk it off. That’s what they would tell us when I was little and would start to whine. Stubbed toe, walk it off. Broken kneecap, walk it off…lmao.

  5. maryhaze
    2:37 pm on May 21st, 2008

    hey, i tell my kids to “go let the dog lick it”. i know, i’m rotten.

  6. WryBread
    4:05 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Can you believe this woman was elected to a government position? What’s up with Nevada? A nutcase stabber is mainstream enough to hold office there?

  7. Morbid
    4:22 pm on May 21st, 2008

    In all fairness, how would voters now of something she would do in the future? But the fact that an elected official can be prone to doing dumb things doesn’t shock me at all. A grown man running to the hospital to have an injury closed that only took three stitches…well, that is curious to me.

    I did like that she told him to call his mom. That was funny, kinda.

  8. WryBread
    4:27 pm on May 21st, 2008

    In all fairness, how would voters now of something she would do in the future? But the fact that an elected official can be prone to doing dumb things doesn’t shock me at all. A grown man running to the hospital to have an injury closed that only took three stitches…well, that is curious to me.

    So you believe in the “just snapped” theory of crime? I’d bet there was lots of indication that this chick was nuts. But that might not have come out during a campaign for state office, you’re right.

  9. thepooh5
    4:40 pm on May 21st, 2008

    In all fairness, how would voters now of something she would do in the future? But the fact that an elected official can be prone to doing dumb things doesn’t shock me at all. A grown man running to the hospital to have an injury closed that only took three stitches…well, that is curious to me.

    Kinda takes “sissy” to a whole new level, doesn’t it? ;)

  10. Rob Taylor
    5:28 pm on May 21st, 2008

    In his defense I once stabbed myself in the hand with a steak knife (trying to slice the plastic of a bottle of Worstersire, like a moron) and even though it only needed a couple of stitches I had to go to the hospital because the “meat’ was kid of hanging out of my hand.

    Better safe than sorry.

  11. SoUncool
    8:35 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Rob_Taylor=Paul Maineri? Dude, sterilize, push hand meat back in, butterfly bandage. Seriously.

  12. Dakota Valkyrie
    9:33 pm on May 21st, 2008

    I’m a blood weenie (when it’s my own). :o If any of my meat was hanging out I would probably need an ambulance. but give me kid with a finger hanging by a thread and I’m a picture of composure.

    What is the proper number of stitches required to seek medical attention? How does one determine stitch count before becoming a public sissy? Just curious in case I get an overly large paper cut. :)

  13. Rob Taylor
    12:02 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Rob_Taylor=Paul Maineri? Dude, sterilize, push hand meat back in, butterfly bandage. Seriously.

    Ha. I was a poor grad student, I didn’t have any band aids in the house. It was also like 2:00am. O.K., so I’m a pussy. but the blood was pretty extensive and i had to be at work at 7:00 the next day.

  14. casey17
    12:25 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Y’all, Tussin is for a cough. I’m thinkin’ you mean Neosporin, which is for scratches.

    Either way, this guy is a huge fragile-tard (fragileeetard). He needs to be roshambeauxed for it.

  15. tmbeem
    4:39 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Can you believe this woman was elected to a government position? What’s up with Nevada? A nutcase stabber is mainstream enough to hold office there?

    Yes, I can believe it. I LIVE in Las Vegas, and we have a mob lawyer as a Mayor; a Nevada State Governor elected last session in spite of a sexual controversy while he was campaigning; and I could go on and on. Fortunately Francis Allen is up for re-election this year and hopefully the voters in her district won’t be so dumb as to re-elect her.

  16. impqueen
    7:36 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Y’all, Tussin is for a cough. I’m thinkin’ you mean Neosporin, which is for scratches.

    Nope, meant Tussin. It’s from an old Chris Rock standup routine, which I have kindly added to the above article in place of that crappy news video which, as Morbid noted, sucked.

    Tussin cures everything! :)

  17. Morbid
    9:10 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Nope, meant Tussin. It’s from an old Chris Rock standup routine, which I have kindly added to the above article in place of that crappy news video which, as Morbid noted, sucked.

    Thanks!

  18. Ruby
    10:16 am on May 22nd, 2008

    I don’t think he went to the hospital because he’s a sissy, necessarily. The fact that they’ve only been married 7 weeks and they’re fighting like this in public, coupled with the fact that he put the knife into a plastic bag and took it with him to the hospital, tells me he was trying to build a case. He wanted the event documented — probably publicly — for whatever reason. I don’t know if he wants to ruin her career, or if he wants to annul his marriage, but I think he was making a case, and visiting the hospital with the assault weapon was key.

  19. Mandella
    11:30 am on May 22nd, 2008

    Considering his reaction, I’m thinking dude just realized he married a psycho. Only 7 weeks in and he’s been stabbed? Fuck yeah. I’d take that weapon to the hospital with me, document it, divorce her ass, get a protective order, and stay the fuck away from her FOREVER.

    If this were reversed, and this was a woman who needed 3 stitches after being stabbed by her new husband of 7 weeks, not only would you all be screaming for his imprisonment, you’d be worried about her possible offspring around mom’s new “penis.”

    Let’s not forget the dangers of a psycho vag here, folks.

  20. funkmama
    11:51 am on May 23rd, 2008

    is it just me or does she look stoned… or posessed?

  21. WryBread
    12:02 pm on May 23rd, 2008

    I don’t think he went to the hospital because he’s a sissy, necessarily. The fact that they’ve only been married 7 weeks and they’re fighting like this in public, coupled with the fact that he put the knife into a plastic bag and took it with him to the hospital, tells me he was trying to build a case. He wanted the event documented — probably publicly — for whatever reason. I don’t know if he wants to ruin her career, or if he wants to annul his marriage, but I think he was making a case, and visiting the hospital with the assault weapon was key.

    Ruby and Mandella, you’re probably right. And thanks, Man, for the new phrase “psycho vag.”

  22. akika666
    3:22 pm on May 25th, 2008

    yep, I bet he totally wanted it documented, with 8 x 10 glossies and etc.

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