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Minister Joe Barron Prays And Plays

May 17, 2008 at 7:07 am by  

Joe Barron on Dreamin' Demon

Plano TX and Bryan, TX – Children of the Lord, I’m gonna preach to you now. I’m gonna speak as I’ve been led, because my heart is heavy today with the news that another of His Shepherds has tried to lead a little child astray. Yes, brothers and sisters, Joe Barron, 52, is a married couples’ minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano. But people, say it with me now: It’s not right to entice a child into a sexual relationship and then drive 200 miles to knock off a piece of underage tail, can I get an amen?

Let’s have church, y’all. Come on, you atheists there in the back, just go with it. Prestonwood Baptist has almost thirty thousand members, and the Lord has blessed them mightily with the cash and the real estate in two Dallas locations. And we know – yes, Lord, we know the temptations of the flesh, for yea, some of us are talented in the areas of sin. Some more talented than others.

But what Joe Barron did, church, was sin. It was sin pure and simple, because over the course of weeks, he engaged a thirteen year old girl in sexual conversation on the internet. At least, he thought she was a thirteen year old girl. But really, she was an adult detective on a sex crimes task force, yea verily.

And then on that fateful day of Thursday, May 15, Joe Barron did choose to drive 200 miles to Bryan, Texas, dangerously near the Aggies, to meet the underage Lolita for whom he did lust in his heart and his loins.

But Hallelujah, brethren, joy is upon us because as the Lord looked on, He was displeased with Brother Joe, and he did cause the Bryan – College Station task force to be sitting there at the rendezvous point waiting for Barron to arrive for his date with a seventh-grader. And lo, when Joe Barron did show up for the sting, he was carrying upon him a digital camera and some condoms.

Joe Barron was arrested and put in the shackles of sin, sent to the purgatory of (… wait. Baptists don’t believe in purgatory.) Barron was taken to the Brazos County Jail and charged with online solicitation of a minor, hallelujah. But now someone has given their tithes to get Joe Barron out on $7,000 bond. Church, that might be a misuse of allocated funds. Next time, send it to us at The Dreamin’ Demon, so that we may continue to shine light into the darkness of sinful souls.

Go in peace. See you at the after-church buffet.

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Comments


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  • Dex

    Seven thousand seems way too low for the bail. He can probably get a bond for seven hundred… I think he should be held for more than a dozen tanks of gasoline…

  • Dex

    Seven thousand seems way too low for the bail. He can probably get a bond for seven hundred… I think he should be held for more than a dozen tanks of gasoline…

  • Kathy

    Lovely writing Imp!

    Does this mean I can skip church some more?

  • Kathy

    Lovely writing Imp!

    Does this mean I can skip church some more?

  • There’s a buffet?!?!
    Do we get to feast on the flesh of the wicked, ’cause if so…I’m there!!!

  • There’s a buffet?!?!
    Do we get to feast on the flesh of the wicked, ’cause if so…I’m there!!!

  • WryBread

    God remains a mystery to me. Why wouldn’t He/She flush a piece of crap like this guy right down the toilet of life to Hell?

  • WryBread

    God remains a mystery to me. Why wouldn’t He/She flush a piece of crap like this guy right down the toilet of life to Hell?

  • Peeperann

    Amen, Imp!! Awesome post!! But, then again, Ewwww….. I wish there was a test that when people were born, we could identify the baby rapers and just take them out, sounds harsh, I know. But our world would be so much better, i’m just sayin………

  • Peeperann

    Amen, Imp!! Awesome post!! But, then again, Ewwww….. I wish there was a test that when people were born, we could identify the baby rapers and just take them out, sounds harsh, I know. But our world would be so much better, i’m just sayin………

  • Ruby

    Amen and hallelujah, Sister! And may blessings rain down upon the heads of the Internet sex crimes task force. So it is written.

  • Ruby

    Amen and hallelujah, Sister! And may blessings rain down upon the heads of the Internet sex crimes task force. So it is written.

  • Nell

    Imp you is awesome! Every time I start to get sick of all the babykilling and raping on here you throw in a funny! Good Job! Morbid, you should give her a reward. And something she’d like, not something you like.:)

  • Nell

    Imp you is awesome! Every time I start to get sick of all the babykilling and raping on here you throw in a funny! Good Job! Morbid, you should give her a reward. And something she’d like, not something you like.:)

  • Your title should have been”Minister Joe Barron Prays and Preys”.

  • Your title should have been”Minister Joe Barron Prays and Preys”.

  • Your title should have been”Minister Joe Barron Prays and Preys”.

    Why thank you! You’re absolutely right. Next time i’m having trouble coming up with a good punny title, I am totally calling you. Be ready, though, because I blog at odd hours. Is 4:00 a.m. my time good for you? 😀

  • Your title should have been”Minister Joe Barron Prays and Preys”.

    Why thank you! You’re absolutely right. Next time i’m having trouble coming up with a good punny title, I am totally calling you. Be ready, though, because I blog at odd hours. Is 4:00 a.m. my time good for you? 😀

  • There’s a buffet?!?!
    Do we get to feast on the flesh of the wicked, ’cause if so…I’m there!!!

    Hey, you can bring your own covered dish. Whoever you choose to put in the dish is up to you.

  • There’s a buffet?!?!
    Do we get to feast on the flesh of the wicked, ’cause if so…I’m there!!!

    Hey, you can bring your own covered dish. Whoever you choose to put in the dish is up to you.

  • Why thank you! You’re absolutely right. Next time i’m having trouble coming up with a good punny title, I am totally calling you. Be ready, though, because I blog at odd hours. Is 4:00 a.m. my time good for you?

    Sorry, I’m asleep at that time. Usually I don’t come up with the greatest puns, but that one hit me out of the clear blue!

  • Why thank you! You’re absolutely right. Next time i’m having trouble coming up with a good punny title, I am totally calling you. Be ready, though, because I blog at odd hours. Is 4:00 a.m. my time good for you?

    Sorry, I’m asleep at that time. Usually I don’t come up with the greatest puns, but that one hit me out of the clear blue!

  • zora

    Imp, that was beautiful. I could hear the angels singing.

    Based on my own personal experience, those holy roller preacher-men are pretty slimeballish underneath their Sunday Go To Meetin’ clothes.

    And yeah, I bet the church “prayer warriors” are super busy, as they pray for their pastor who fell from grace. Arrrghhh … been there, done that, and I still feel dirty.

  • zora

    Imp, that was beautiful. I could hear the angels singing.

    Based on my own personal experience, those holy roller preacher-men are pretty slimeballish underneath their Sunday Go To Meetin’ clothes.

    And yeah, I bet the church “prayer warriors” are super busy, as they pray for their pastor who fell from grace. Arrrghhh … been there, done that, and I still feel dirty.

  • You are right Zora. They put up a good front on church day but most of them are sinners when not in church. POS~ I hope he rots.

  • You are right Zora. They put up a good front on church day but most of them are sinners when not in church. POS~ I hope he rots.

  • Modine Gunch

    Plano TX and Bryan, TX – Children of the Lord, I’m gonna preach to you now. I’m gonna speak as I’ve been led, because my heart is heavy today…., can I get an amen?

    Amen, and amen, and amen! Go girl, go!

  • Modine Gunch

    Plano TX and Bryan, TX – Children of the Lord, I’m gonna preach to you now. I’m gonna speak as I’ve been led, because my heart is heavy today…., can I get an amen?

    Amen, and amen, and amen! Go girl, go!

  • tone

    N u for to b e church going person or a preacher, u da one is da demon

  • tone

    N u for to b e church going person or a preacher, u da one is da demon