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James Crise Is So Not 21

April 24, 2008 at 8:00 am by  

UPDATE 8/10/08 – Turns out James Crise was a lot busier than he was letting on. He has been charged with NEW multiple felonies, including sexual assault and involuntary deviant sexual intercourse – against a 15-year-old girl.  He is out on $15,000 cash bond and is awaiting trial now in two cases – the one we covered here first, and now the new case.  Both carry multiple charges, although the new charges are more serious.  Details at the bottom of the article.

James Crise at

Greensburg, PA, February 22, 2008 I love it when the perv of the moment has a Myspace. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, like I have a purpose in life. The pervs are in the closet, and I’m just a little impish lightbulb flashing at most inconvenient of times. Wow. I think we just had a moment there, didn’t we? Anyway. I don’t think James Crise is really gay, and he’s definitely not 21. And those 13-year-old girls in his car? He was “paying them to bikini wrestle.” And the laptops? Yeah, those were a bad idea.

James Crise is 26. And he was pulled over in Greensburg some months ago for running a red light. At the time, he asked the cop not to tell the girls in the backseat his real age, since he had told them he was 21. Because that’s how you get the cops on your side in Pennsylvania, right, dumbass? Naturally, this raised some suspicion, so the cop looked inside the vehicle to find two eighth-graders and two laptops. The girls told the police that they had been paid $200 to “bikini wrestle”. Um, okay. That sounds kind of like Humping Tag or Dickball to me.

The police felt the same way, so they took the computers and decided to do a little investigating. Which apparently took awhile, because sheez, seven months later they finally arraigned Crise on Thursday. Turns out he not only is accused of molesting those two girls, he also allegedly sold photographs of another naked 15-year-old girl. And he apparently had another man, James Moon, pose as a girl’s father to entice a 13-year-old away from her mother. This guy is a real piece of… work. Police are still investigating all the ick on those computers.

Crise has been charged with sexual abuse of children, sexual exploitation of children, unlawful contact with a minor, criminal use of a communication facility, interference with custody of children, conspiracy and corruption of minors. But for all that, his bond is set at $20,000. I don’t get that either. Here’s hoping he’s really, really broke.

UPDATE 4/24/08 – Someone stating that he or she is James Crise’s neighbor posted here, in our forums, last night. This person states that Crise was acquitted and was planning to sue websites who posted on his story. The poster goes on at some length about all the lawsuits Crise is filing. He says that grand juries are indicting officers and Crise is offering to take a detective’s house as partial payment of his multimillion dollar settlement. Then the poster stated that he could “get (Crise) to come on here”. Oh, okay. Especially since the registration information on the poster’s user account leads straight to James Crise’s email and Myspace page.

So I went and did a little digging at the Pennsylvania Magisterial District Judge Docket Sheet search engine, and found the docket sheets on this case. Oddly enough, Crise has not been acquitted. In fact, Crise hasn’t gone to trial yet. He’s actually had three continuances on a preliminary hearing. The next prelim on this case is May 1, 2008, and I can assure you, dear Denizens, I’ll be watching the docket.

Should Mr. Crise be found guilty, this article will be updated to reflect that. Should he be acquitted, this article will reflect that as well. But really, Jim? After posting lies about your acquittal and expecting us not to research, and threatening to sue this website? Even if you’re not a child molester, you’re kind of a jerk.

Update 8/10/08 – James Crise has now been charged with aggravated assault, statutory sexual intercourse, indecent assault, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse (called first-degree sexual intercourse in charging docs), sexual assault, and corruption of minors. He bonded out on $15,000 cash on July 31, so I really hope he’s reading here.  Here’s the link to the new docket sheet listing his new, improved charges: (New, Improved Crise Charges)

What’s fun is that he was out on bond awaiting trial on the previous bunch of charges when he was arrested. Those charges are being transferred from the Magisterial docket to the Court of Common Pleas. (Updated Magisterial Docket Sheet).  The transfer docket to The Court of Common Pleas shows that trial is scheduled to begin December 8, 2008. (Updated Common Pleas Docket Sheet)

Crise is gonna end up doing some time – if not on the first bunch of charges, definitely on the recent ones. And then he’s gonna be registering as a sex offender, I bet.  James, if you’re reading, we would love to hear your take on this. Please, by all means, log in and let us know what YOU think.

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