Joseph Manzanares Is A Loyal Baller
April 11, 2008 by impqueen
Commerce City, CO – Raising a kid in today’s troubled times is hard. And when you have two parents, each trying to do what’s right for their shared child, sometimes people just disagree to the tune of property damage and death threats. Which is what happened last SaturdaySaturday reviews
night at the Hollywood Video in Commerce City, when Joseph Manzanares and his ex-girlfriend came to blows over which gang their four year old child should join.
See, Joseph Manzanares, 19, is a Baller. The Ballers are an Hispanic gang formerly known as The Westside Ballers. Their advantages include meth and weed production and distribution, lax supervision at a national level for independent thinkers, and the freedom to set one’s own hours. As a good teenage father of the child conceived and born during their junior high years, Manzanares was expressing his concern that his son be affiliated with a gang that offers lifetime job security in the penal system and, hopefully, an ability to make his own bail one day.
The preschooler’s mother disagreed. She belongs to The Crips, arguably one of the best-known gangs in the country, with outstanding alumni in the rap and clothing design fields. Blue is always an easy color to find, making identification simple even before the kid can hold still for a tattoo. The health plan is arguably better, in that Bloods generally have poor aim, meaning that a spinal cord injury might be a possibility but death isn’t as big a concern. Should death occur, however, there are just way more Crips willing to dish out revenge in the form of a .9 mm. Overall, the mother felt, the Crips simply offered a larger company base with better benefits and the potential for higher earnings.
The disagreement reached fever pitch when the mother reminded Manzanares that his gang sucked because she was having to hold down a job in a video store due to his failure to come across with the fat cash needed to raise a child in proper representational attire. Manzanares, by now thoroughly pissed, threatened to kill her. He also knocked down a bunch of stuff and trashed a computer, but then ran, effectively ending the argument by default. The babymama called the cops, who went to Manzanares’ place and picked him up on domestic violence, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges.
On Thursday, Manzanares went “whatever”, let his babymama win, and pled guilty on reduced charges. He got hit with an $835 fine and a year of probation. Meanwhile, his son’s mama is out buying blue bandannas and tattoo ink. I guess West Side StoryWest Side Story reviews
really doesn’t work out so well in the real world.
6:53 am on April 11th, 2008
Nosferatu returns!! Did his mother get fucked by a ghost? Whiter than my butt crack, holmes. Arguing over choice of gangs as if they were prep schools, unbelievable. Hey – wait…
7:04 am on April 11th, 2008
BAP… i love you. Just sayin’.
8:44 am on April 11th, 2008
What a waste of sperm that could have otherwise made for a decent Money shot. Everyone knows the SPK’s* rep. the biggest in Colorado!
.
.
.
*south park kows
8:49 am on April 11th, 2008
The parents are immature, obviously stupid, and punished the poor child further by publizing the fact that they are his parents. I know that this is a sad story, but this is the funniest s*i*t I have read in a long time. Thanks for getting my day off started right by embarassing these two idiots even further!!!!
8:53 am on April 11th, 2008
HAHAHAHAHAHA
9:03 am on April 11th, 2008
WTF is up with his eyebrows? He kind of has that Vulcan look going on.
Plus, everyone knows that when a child is born from an inter-gang afilliation relationship, you expose the kid to BOTH and allow them to choose on their own when they are old enough. Its just like religion. Jeez.
9:30 am on April 11th, 2008
All of y’all are wrong! They should let the child join “The Folks” gang so he can learn from another of our front page favorites. The parents have already taught the child how to have underage sex, and be violent in public. Now he needs to learn the best strategies for finding a hit man in jail, in order to end fights about such stupid shit in the future….
9:33 am on April 11th, 2008
OMFG! Is this shit for real? Fucking morons!!!!
9:35 am on April 11th, 2008
Damn damn and double damn – what a goal to set for your child. If stupidity is not a crime, it should be in this case. Poor 4 year old, yet another child without a chance because of his idiot parents.
10:41 am on April 11th, 2008
I almost said this poor kid doesn’t stand a chance….I hate to say that about any child, but with parents like this……..
10:55 am on April 11th, 2008
Not only do I hate to say it, I hate to know it is true. You know, one would think, that this could be seen as some type of endangerment. If your whole plan includes getting your child into the best gang, where they could be shot and stabbed or recruited into committing crimes like that, why in the hell wouldn’t this be considered “endangerment”? Its not like the cops or CPS doesn’t have proof – these two asshats had a physical, public altercation over this very subject and an arrest occured because of it – proof enough to me that the child needs to be in a different environment.
You have that religious group that just got raided because it was a way to facilitate pedophilia while hiding behind religion. This is the same, in the fact, they bring kids into this world for the purpose of having another gang member. Even, if they didn’t exactly have a child for that reason, the point is, once they have a child, this is their future plans for that child – getting into the “baddest gang”. Asshats. bah.
12:56 pm on April 11th, 2008
Gangs are pathetic
9:12 pm on April 11th, 2008
Oh heck, the child will probably grow up to be a gangsta and that way neither parent will understand what the kid is saying…lol
9:52 pm on April 11th, 2008
West Side Story for the 21st century. He’s a Baller crack/meth head. She’s a Crip with his kid. The met in their early teens, just like Romeo and Juliet and barfed out a baby.
Maria! Maria!
I just did a ho named Maria!
How rapidly I came
We chose a baby name –
Because she’s a preg Mamacita!
Maria! Maria!
or
I feel shitty,
Yes, real shitty,
Cause baby’s got blue on tonight!
Give me pity
A Baller with a Crip Kid — cripes!
http://www.westsidestory.com/site/level2/lyrics/america.html
7:04 pm on April 12th, 2008
LMAO, Wry!
9:04 pm on April 12th, 2008
To the Tune of “I Feel Pretty” from Methside Story.
I feel shitty,
Oh, so shitty,
My son saw his Mom and I fight!
It was gritty.
And my boy is wearing blue tonight.
Fuck his mother,
He’s my “brother”
In the Ballers’ gang, yes, for real!
He’s all Baller,
Though right now he’s far too young to steal.
Someday he’ll shoot meth at my side:
And distribute our weed!
My son won’t be a crip,
Won’t be a loser dip,
or it will be RIP!
So Ms. Fancy!
Don’t get prancy!
Spending my dough on blue and tattoos!
Cause my son!
Will be my Baller II!
8:24 am on April 13th, 2008
I for one will cue for a week for this off Broadway play, once it coalesceses to gestation in Wrybread’s creative mind, gets writer’s approval, backing, etc, etc, yadiyadiyah. Smurfing, tweaking and fly’n, but I’ll be there!
Man, I can’t wait to see how this story pans out. Will bubba forsake the gang lifestyle and become a Republican? Kill one? and will he ever tan?
9:59 am on April 14th, 2008
Too funny, Wry! You are amazing. Now all we need are a screenwriter and several wealthy backers. Can I have a part in the production when it hits Broadway?
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