Mark Jones Wins Fugliest Mugshot Ever Award
March 29, 2008 by impqueen
Forsyth County, GA – Mark Jones, 42, is not a pretty man. In fact, he kinda reminds me of what would happen if Marty Feldman and Steve Perry had a microcephalic love child. Also, Jones is an asshole, what with the girlfriend-killing and all.
On Easter Sunday, Jones got into a fight with his girlfriend, Christy Lea Newton, 34. She couldn’t take looking at that face anymore and took off walking, and a very inebriated Jones got mad. He chased her down the road in his half-ton Toyota pickup truck and either accidentally or intentionally ran Newton down like road kill.
Newton didn’t die immediately, so Jones was initially picked up on DUI charges in Forsyth County and released on – get this – $1375 bond. Yup. Four figures for DUI and hitting your girlfriend. Way to keep assholes off the streets, Georgia! I mean, surely they knew Newton was injured, right?
Well, Christy Lea Newton died on Wednesday, so now Forsyth County has to go get Jones again so they can charge him with something worse than being ugly.
Sweet_misery covered this in our forums – thanks! Â
7:45 am on March 29th, 2008
LOL. Ok, I usually refrain from commenting on physical appearance on this site, as I think that a perp’s weight or forhead size isn’t really all that pertinent. But this guy just blew that policy OUT. THE. WINDOW.
Marty Feldman, no joke! He looks like a refugee from Young Frankenstein.
And any dude looks like that can NOT afford to be running over anybody who could even stand to be in the same room with him.
8:06 am on March 29th, 2008
Hmmmmm… give him a close shave all over and you have a real live Gollum!
Drunk with one eye taking a hard left, I’m thinking it was an accident.
8:14 am on March 29th, 2008
Holy crap. I just about blew coffee out of my nose when I saw his picture.
His face is scary. Seriously, I would be scared if I actually looked at him face to face in person, although if I was standing behind him he’d probably still be able to see me.
8:42 am on March 29th, 2008
“I’m watching you” would have a whole new meaning with this guy.
9:14 am on March 29th, 2008
maybe he ran over his girlfriend because he looking out of the wrong eye
9:49 am on March 29th, 2008
eek! my immediate reaction to that gorgeous mug was, “oh, holy fuck!”
9:52 am on March 29th, 2008
This man’s face is a misfortune. But I wonder about his brain. Does he think he’s ever going to get another girlfriend? It’s not like he’s O.J. or something with money and a fairly handsome appearance. Just shows that drinking and driving can lead to a life of celibacy.
10:24 am on March 29th, 2008
Hey Mark, I’m over here!
No no, not over there, over HERE!
oh fuck it.
10:29 am on March 29th, 2008
LMFAO
10:32 am on March 29th, 2008
I just had the wife look at the front page to see the dude’s mugshot.
She says, “Awww, that’s just sad”, in an attempt to diffuse my convulsive laughter.
“He ran over his wife”, I point out.
“Nevermind”, she says, followed by a long pause.
Then, “Was it because he couldn’t see?” With no trace of sarcasm.
10:36 am on March 29th, 2008
he gives a whole new meaning to EYE love you
10:39 am on March 29th, 2008
Tell her, yeah, it was because he couldn’t see. A couple cases of beer can do that to a guy I’ve heard.
Somebody needs to slap that fucker straight-eyed!
12:46 pm on March 29th, 2008
Oh damn, now that I’ve stopped laughing my ass off to comment. Can we hook him up with the psycho drywall saw woman? You know FUGLY need lovin too.
2:10 pm on March 29th, 2008
That’s it. I knew he reminded me of someone, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. lol…
2:45 pm on March 29th, 2008
If you’re the that ugly, don’t run your girlfriend over. It’s almost miraculous that you got a girlfriend in the first place.
This could work to his advantage in prison. I don’t know if Bubba wants anything that scary to be his bitch, not when there are so many other options to choose from.
7:39 pm on March 29th, 2008
This has to be the first human being with the ability to look in his own ear without a mirror.
8:10 pm on March 29th, 2008
God help us if Amy Moolic and this guy hook up and have offspring.
9:54 am on March 30th, 2008
The horror, the horror… this mugshot was repelling as well as compelling – the worst ever posted so far, I believe.
Just out of interest, I put the reflective side of my drivers licence between the middle of his wall-eye and the nurmal one, and voila! a slight angling and the normal eye reflected on the other side, and he just looked sad, but normal. On the other side, he could pass for an extra from Tod Browning’s Freaks, or monster material in early Star Trek.
Okay, now to be helpful. If Casanvoa Jones has had that teensy tiny eye problem all his life, well he probably lacks all the spatial/dimensional wiring in his noggin and has been subconsciously relying on environmental clues for depth reference. Did the pursuit happen at dusk or night, when all the cues go to bed? As to the mug shot, someone should have told him that when the photographer says turn to the left, they mean your whole body.
I’d warn him to watch his back in prison, or to sleep with one eye open, but I think he already does – both (ka-ching! I’ve got dozens of ‘em).
7:06 pm on March 30th, 2008
Oh, shit, y’all! We better quit making fun of this guy! I just figured out who it really is…..Mad Eye Moody’s long lost (fraternal) twin! If we keep this shit up, he might come over here and unleash one of those ‘Unforgivable Curses’ on our asses. Looks like someone already hit him with the Terminally Ugly Curse……so he really doesn’t have much to lose, huh?
Mad Eye, trying to teach his bro magic…..”You have to look directly at the object you’re performing the spell on! No, no, no! I mean with both eyes, you squib!”
….yeah, right, I guess this means we here at D’D don’t have anything to worry about after all….
10:08 am on March 31st, 2008
OMG.
LMFAO.
Very sad that, yes, he probably just offed the only girlfriend he ever had.
While I am sorry she is dead, at least she doesn’t have to look at that laying on top of her anymore.
1:43 pm on March 31st, 2008
“I said look at me when I’m talking to you!” *slap*
2:59 pm on March 31st, 2008
OMG so I’ve been reading this blog for like months, I but I got totally motivated to register and post for the first time after reading this one. this is why I LOVE this blog – it’s sick yet hilarious and it’s also informative. it rulzorz.
I thought I was all genius and everything when I was gonna post that he prlly shoulna killed his gf, cuz beggarz can’t be choosarz, but totally bummed to discover that idea was hack.
but poor ol’ fugmug – he looks like a Simpsons character. too heinous even for prison rape.
NE way, I’ll slide back under my rock for now. Just wanted to say this site is refreshing in its lack of sanctimony and mind-numbing “prayers” posts, while keeping a sharp, effective edge, sometimes piercingly funny, on the side of innocent victims.
I love that there’s no “glittery” avatars or sigs either… ew. Plus you guys are the awesomenest. K I’ll stop.
3:19 pm on March 31st, 2008
Hello AKIKA666, you got the right number for the DD.
3:35 pm on March 31st, 2008
Okay, kids, never mind that new Glitter Kitty plug-in I was gonna add..
Welcome to the site!
4:28 pm on March 31st, 2008
thanks MICHELLE – it’s been my screen name since I was a goth poseur signing onto AOL in 1992. I’m not goth anymore (when you’re a middle aged mom, that shit is just plain pathetic), but I am still a total poseur.
and thanks, IMPQUEEN. my retinas, cerebral cortex, and sensibilities thank you too (the glitter has taken its toll).
9:54 pm on March 31st, 2008
Welcome AKIKA, glad to have you. Hang out and share some funnies with the rest of us.
8:27 pm on April 1st, 2008
Oh God. Now THAT is a visual that will haunt me. Maybe she demanded doggie? Saves her having to look into his eyes….which is challenging enough. And doggie would be a fitting title given one of the participants at least. Yeah, I’ll stop now. Yikes, now I’m just scarin’ myself.
6:33 pm on April 10th, 2008
He reminds me of Crazy Eyes from Mr. Deeds. Can you imagine the size of his contact lenses?! It’s all bad enough we have to be bombarded by pics of pedophiles and brain-dead parents, but this will give me nightmares. Thanks. Thanks a lot!
6:35 pm on April 10th, 2008
Hey, what’s with the $1375 bond?? Sounds like a bid on The Price is Right!
10:01 pm on December 20th, 2008
BLAST FROM THE PAST !!!! awwwww dayummm I just spent 15 minutes trying to get through the comments on this one., I had to stop from laughing so hard….. OMG you guys are funny!
this one made me cry bwaahhaaaahaaaaa
3:28 pm on February 7th, 2009
Okay, does anyone know what the girlfriend looked like? It stands to reason that she was just as ugly one way or another. Look at this guy… what woman with an IQ could find this guy even remotely desirable!
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