Comments on: Dino Jay Schwertz Rapes Little Boys

By: bugonthewall

bugonthewall — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:17:42 +0000

Geesh, there isn’t one safe place for kids anymore!!

By: Angel

Angel — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:36:34 +0000

Yeah, ask any of my kids – I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. Well, maybe not schizo (yes, you are), but paranoid, at least. I can’t stand for them to be out of my sight, and they don’t even get to go to the park right across the street from the house without an adult. My way of making things right in my world is overcompensating for the love and security I didn’t have as a child. I am overprotective to a fault. My kids hate it! So it has a dual purpose – making me feel better, while at the same time annoying the shit out of my babies. Kill two birds with one stone…..*cackle*

By: jenjen0135

jenjen0135 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:56:31 +0000

hahahahahaa…you so funny, Angel!…!

Seriously though, CLD- She’s right- Regardless of how well you feel right now about the other stuff in your life, that experience will drag you down and be a heavy burden on your heart, and your spirit, unless you open up and spill. I have talked to a couple of different therapists over the years (moved from FL to GA) Particularly because of other situations that occurred because of my own anxiety from the events in the past. You don’t think it plays much of a role in who you are today, but during your developmental years, when you were becoming who you are today, it happened. And it stuck with you. And It shapes the way you think, the way you treat your children, the way you watch your children, where you let them go, and with who…so on and so on.
Not that that is a bad thing in itself, but there are many more parts of your psyche that were affected.

By: cld79

cld79 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:59:32 +0000

TY again. Will do.:)

By: Angel

Angel — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:54:59 +0000

I understand, and if you ever just wanna unload on someone, PM me, and let me know. Us fucked-up folk gotta stick together.LOL. I’ve been told I’m a good listener…..

And having a purpose is a good thing. Helping others is the best way I know of to help yourself. Good luck with the CHDS thing; I think others are going to be lucky to have someone as compassionate as you on their side. Vaya con dios…

By: WryBread

WryBread — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:52:35 +0000

And yes, I am a teacher. I teach at a needy, at-risk school in a low income communuity. I have taught kids who have been molested. And let me tell ya, walk into a room of 35 kids – thatâ€™s how many are in MY class on average – youâ€™d be hard pressed to pick out the kids who were abused or the ones who slept in a car the night before, or who havenâ€™t ate in 2 days. These kids are taught to lie, cover it up, denyâ€¦or live in fear.

I have had some experience as an assistant reading teacher and I can testify that in a classroom with 35 kids there is alway something that needs immediate attention. A child that is quiet one day or has a tear on her/his cheek may — well, there simply may not be time to sit down and coax out what the problem is — there are 34 other active kids to monitor — and then the quiet child perks up or the period ends and everyone leaves the room, etc. I think 35 is WAY too many kids in a class — for just this reason.

By: cld79

cld79 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:44:26 +0000

Thanks Angel,
Ya know I would go to talk to someone about it but I just had a very traumatic year with my son having the heart defect and him having open heart surgery. I am just finally starting to feel again now that he is Ok. I did go through a little depression I think but now I feel better, I can appreciate all that i have. I am really enjoying him and my other two kids. We are getting our life back, I don’t want to be sad anymore. I want to spend my time helping other kids/families with heart defects, my sister had one also, she died in 81. I think I found my purpose, to help others with CHDS.
My son is just doing so well. I can breathe, ya know? I don’t want to drag in all of these feelings of my past, the shame has sadly become how I am. I can say that almost matter of factly. I will eventually seek maybe a group setting. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you understand where I came coming from.

By: Angel

Angel — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:31:31 +0000

CLD,
You really do need to talk to somebody. The more you talk about it, the less power it has over you. At least, that’s how it worked for me. If you don’t want to do one on one counseling, there are rape crisis centers, and sex abuse groups that meet for ‘group discussions’ in most cities now. I think it would really help you to talk to others who have suffered through the same kind of abuse. I know it may sound weird, but it made me feel LESS ‘dirty’ once I really understood that I wasn’t alone in my feelings. Others who have been through it often can be a greater source of encouragement and healing, than someone who was ‘trained’ to help people. At least think about it……
And whatever you decide to do….I’ll be praying for you.

By: cld79

cld79 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:18:11 +0000

JenJen and Angel,
At least you came forward with the abuse. I know of plenty of cases where people are advised to settle or not press charges for the sake of the children being put on the stand. For me it was not that bad, the abuse was way worse in a sense that it totally messed up my ability to not feel this “dirty” feeling towards all adult men,it changed how I dressed as I got older, how I felt about sex in general, pretty much a dirty feeling.
These people need to be stopped, they will just keep offending, so even though it is embarrassing,kids need to come forward not just for themselves but for the other possible victims.
I just wanted to clarify that i never told, that is not why we went to court, the man was caught taking his penis out in his backyard while me and the one girl were playing up the back part of the yard. Broad ass daylight and everything. He took off, but was caught by a canal several days later. I became very close with the officer that caught him. My Mother is the one who came out and caught him, she was calling for me in the upper part of the yard turned next door and saw him standing at his door, that is when his whole world came crashing down. My Mom who was divorced from my Dad at the time, did not tell him what happened for a long time, because she was afraid of what he would do to the guy. My Dad got really pissed off at that later on, can’t say I blame him. He did know by court though. He went after the guy in court like we thought he would.
Sorry so long. I actually never even told my husband this whole story before. It is just something that never comes up.
One last, last thing, there were signs, he was very close with the 13 year old daughter, too close, my Mom asked me about it one time when I was playing a game with her, I said nothing that I knew off. She was always hugging him, and stuff. Her POS Dad did not come to court, he went to the bar instead. His two daughters were raped and he did not come to court. I blamed that family for years for what happened, sadly I had a lot of ill will towards the kids too.

By: Angel

Angel — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:03:43 +0000

JenJen,
I never got the chance to confront the one who molested me in a court of law, either, but it was not because of a plea. Back when I was 17 (and dinosaurs roamed the earth), if you did not report the abuse within, I think it was two or three years of the occurrence, the person could not be charged. Since the abuse had stopped five years before I even remembered it, the statute of limitations had already expired, and I was SOL. I think it was just a couple or three years after that, that the law was changed to read that you had three years from your 18th birthday, or from the time you remembered the abuse, to report it and be offered the opportunity to prosecute. The old bastard lucked out on that one.
I did get help, not for years afterward,but I did finally go to a therapist. I am actually still seeing her, as needed, whenever the depression surfaces.

By: jenjen0135

jenjen0135 — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:56:02 +0000

CLD–I wish I had been given the chance. By the time I opened up I was 14, then byt the time it had a court date I was 16. The assigned a “victim-witness advocate” and she helped pursuade me- and my mom to let him plead down to a lesser offense- Just so I wouldn’t have to go through the “trauma” of a trial.
I would have loved the THERAPUETIC experience of going to trial and actually being able to confront the bastard with the truth. Even though in FL it meant a possible 25/ life sentence.

Now, after only a year in jail, he absconded from parole- was recaught, then served only another 9 months he is out and almost off the 10 year probation. I think he just has to attend some kind of class or something. He is a not even a CONVICTED felon since they let him PLEAD OUT!!! He is a registered sex offender, and is registered, but that doesn’t mean much.
I agree with some of the other posters- It needs to be tatooed on these a-holes foreheads and then they need to have the color refreshed on the thing every several years–(when there is not any scar tissue–hehe…) so that they and everyone that happens upon them will never forget what a POS they really are.

By: cld79

cld79 — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:17:19 +0000

I was molested also as a child. It was a man who lived with my neighbors. We went to court, he had 13 priors and was charged with abusing 3 including me, two counts rape for the girls who lived with him. He did not rape me. The shame is incredible, therapy only works if you talk and i never did. I never said alot that happened. It makes you feel so dirty. I think the shame keeps you quiet a lot more than any threat of harm to family. You just don’t want it to be you that it is happening to. I hope that they get help. They can overcome it with help. The boy who raped the other, really needs some serious help if this did not happen in front of this pervert. That means he is acting out on his own.
I am sure there will be plenty more kids who he has molested. the average amount of victims they have is unbelievable, they should not be released ever once they commit their first offense. The man who molested me, even had to be extradited for more crimes in other states.
As for being cross examined, all i remember was that due to my age, i was able to go to a separate room with the judge and lawyers, my parents too. I had to sit and tell what happened to the judge, and then face the sicko, and point to him. i was really young so I forget some stuff.

By: Angel

Angel — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:17:43 +0000

I was wondering if the child came back to class with his clothes in a disarray, or was he pale, or did he have a â€œlookâ€, was he tearful, withdrawn, anxious or depressed?
If a teacher has 30 kids in her class, of course they are not going to â€œseeâ€ everything, and â€œnoticeâ€ all changes. I was thinking though, someone should have noticed something. Again not blaming, just thinking out loud. I realize also that every child reacts differently.

Besides the possibility that the kids just didn’t want to mention it or let others know what was going on, because of the shame associated with a situation like this, JenJen has another excellent point. Just because a child has been molested or raped does not automatically mean there WILL be behavioral/emotional changes. A lot of these kids are so shocked by the act itself, that they absolutely refuse to let themselves believe that it happened. I was one of those.

I was molested by a family member until I was twelve. I was so deep in denial, that I didn’t even remember the abuse until FIVE YEARS AFTER IT ENDED. And I truly believe that the only reason I remembered it at that point was because my mother and my little sister had moved in with the old bastard, and my subconscious desire to protect her was greater than my desire to forget. Love is one of the most powerful motivators on earth. I am also equally as certain that the things I remembered, the things that prompted me to insist on her removal from that house, were probably just the very tip of the iceberg where my abuse was concerned. I am still missing large chunks of my childhood – the memories simply don’t exist for me. And, God willing, I will never remember. The things I do remember came close to ruining my life, and I really don’t think I would be able to deal with the absolute certainty that even worse things had happened. I am happy in my ignorance in this situation.
Also, during the entire time the abuse was happening, no one noticed. I was a straight A student, happy, friendly, and dedicated to my family. The fact that they missed it is not a reflection on their perceptive abilities, but rather evidence of my deep denial. I’m not saying that this is what happened in this case – just throwing another possibility into the mix…

By: jenjen0135

jenjen0135 — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:23:07 +0000

No Worries! That is what forum is for- To express our beliefs and opinions.

OF COURSE I don’t blame the teacher. Dino had done this before and had apparently had enough time to study these poor kids to know what made them tick- And how to keep them quiet.
I’m just saying that any teacher that spends 8 hours a day with her/his students just can usually pick up on something wrong- that’s all. Whether the child chooses to talk is an ENTIRELY different story.

LL- I KNOW. It happened to me for years when I was a kid by a close family member. He threatened all kinds of things, and intimidated me for years. I don’t think there were any clues that would have clued in any of my close neighbors, teachers or church family that anything was going on, so I am sure that when this happened to these boys, the change in their behavior/ demeanor wasn’t something they could hide. If they weren’t living with the abuser, like I was, home was probably the only “safe place” they could act out without someone questioning them.

By: Hippiepoet

Hippiepoet — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:54:51 +0000

LL44 and V. My whole thing with agreeing with JenJen was this: It would seem the first time, and subsequent times that there would have been some kind of sign, which yes, a teacher would be trained to notice. I don’t blame the teacher, I am just curious as to how no one caught on.
I was wondering if the child came back to class with his clothes in a disarray, or was he pale, or did he have a “look”, was he tearful, withdrawn, anxious or depressed?
If a teacher has 30 kids in her class, of course they are not going to “see” everything, and “notice” all changes. I was thinking though, someone should have noticed something. Again not blaming, just thinking out loud. I realize also that every child reacts differently.