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Man Accused Of Putting Bug In Abused Boy’s Mouth

February 21, 2008 at 12:41 pm by  

Man Accused Of Putting Bug In Abused Boys MouthMINNEAPOLIS – Police have accused a man of abusing his girlfriend’s 3-year-old son. The abuse ranges from hitting the boy in the face, bending his fingers back until he screamed, smothering him with a pillow and get this, putting a bug in his mouth.

Stephen Berkner, 39, is now facing a charge of malicious punishment of a child, stemming from witness statements as well as from the 3-year-old himself. A doctor’s examination of the child found bruises on his back, near his eyes, chin and both hands.

It’s cases like this in which I would just LOVE to see a person get as much as they gave if the allegations are true. Throw him in a UFC octagon for a round or two with some heavy-weights, then go all Fear Factor on him as he is forced to eat a dozen Madagascar hissing cockroaches while being smothered.

I LOATHE worthless, weak, human beings who abuse children. If it turns out that the mother is actually one of the witnesses to this abuse, then she is no better. I have no pics of anyone involved, so if anyone gets any before me, send ‘em to me.

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  • winsomelosesome

    I think I found his photo:
    http://www.gofasters.com/rs/pix/193.low.picturea.3.jpg

    It appears he works as a salesman at a place called gofasters powersports.

    And he’s registered as berkyboy on this site:
    http://www.woodsracer.com/portal/forums/showthread.php?t=6242

    He appears to be the right age and it’s Minnesota. Hope I’m not posting the wrong guy.

  • winsomelosesome

    I think I found his photo:
    http://www.gofasters.com/rs/pix/193.low.picturea.3.jpg

    It appears he works as a salesman at a place called gofasters powersports.

    And he’s registered as berkyboy on this site:
    http://www.woodsracer.com/portal/forums/showthread.php?t=6242

    He appears to be the right age and it’s Minnesota. Hope I’m not posting the wrong guy.

  • Miss. Hill

    I LOATHE worthless, weak, human beings like Stephen Berkner. If it turns out that the mother is actually one of the witnesses, she is no better. I have no pics, so if anyone gets any before me, send ‘em to me.

    Right on!

    If someone hurt my 3 year old I would get even, I would hurt that pos, right or wrong, I don’t care no one would hurt my babies!

  • Miss. Hill

    I LOATHE worthless, weak, human beings like Stephen Berkner. If it turns out that the mother is actually one of the witnesses, she is no better. I have no pics, so if anyone gets any before me, send ‘em to me.

    Right on!

    If someone hurt my 3 year old I would get even, I would hurt that pos, right or wrong, I don’t care no one would hurt my babies!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    He appears to be the right age and it’s Minnesota. Hope I’m not posting the wrong guy.

    Thanks, WSLS. I’ll hold off on the pic ’til we get some confirmation. How did you come across it?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    He appears to be the right age and it’s Minnesota. Hope I’m not posting the wrong guy.

    Thanks, WSLS. I’ll hold off on the pic ’til we get some confirmation. How did you come across it?

  • WryBread

    Maybe we need a law that once a person has custody of a kid or is the care-giving parent, she/he can’t have a boy/girlfriend until the kid reaches 18. I know this is REALLY unfair and will have its impact mostly on women. But damn, this “not my kid so use as a football” thing seems to be so prevalent. And Mommy is standing right there as Baby”Uncle” tortures the sprout. I wouldn’t let my boyfriends be mean tomy cats, let alone a baby. (How does one type in a pucking emoticon?)

  • WryBread

    Maybe we need a law that once a person has custody of a kid or is the care-giving parent, she/he can’t have a boy/girlfriend until the kid reaches 18. I know this is REALLY unfair and will have its impact mostly on women. But damn, this “not my kid so use as a football” thing seems to be so prevalent. And Mommy is standing right there as Baby”Uncle” tortures the sprout. I wouldn’t let my boyfriends be mean tomy cats, let alone a baby. (How does one type in a pucking emoticon?)

  • winsomelosesome

    Morbid: I googled “Steve” instead of Stephen. Maybe I got lucky or maybe I found the wrong guy. dunno yet. Isn’t he supposed to appear in court this afternoon? Hopefully some local paper will snap a perp walk shot then.

  • winsomelosesome

    Morbid: I googled “Steve” instead of Stephen. Maybe I got lucky or maybe I found the wrong guy. dunno yet. Isn’t he supposed to appear in court this afternoon? Hopefully some local paper will snap a perp walk shot then.

  • WryBread

    I meant puking emoticon, though I’d be curious to see what a pucking one looks like.

  • WryBread

    I meant puking emoticon, though I’d be curious to see what a pucking one looks like.

  • winsomelosesome

    Wrybread: I don’t totally disagree and I am a single mom. I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    When I was a teenager we lost a close family friend age 4 to his mom’s new boyfriend. Beaten and sodomized. And the kicker is the guy served only 4 years on a manslaughter charge. It makes me sick. I am hyper sensitive to this phenomenon. Part of it is immaturity on the part of both the mom and the stepdad(s). Part of it is lacking the sensitivity because it’s not your flesh and blood. And then there’s the part that you just can’t explain – how anyone could treat a child with cruelty???? mystifies me.

  • winsomelosesome

    Wrybread: I don’t totally disagree and I am a single mom. I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    When I was a teenager we lost a close family friend age 4 to his mom’s new boyfriend. Beaten and sodomized. And the kicker is the guy served only 4 years on a manslaughter charge. It makes me sick. I am hyper sensitive to this phenomenon. Part of it is immaturity on the part of both the mom and the stepdad(s). Part of it is lacking the sensitivity because it’s not your flesh and blood. And then there’s the part that you just can’t explain – how anyone could treat a child with cruelty???? mystifies me.

  • WryBread

    WinSomeLoseSome — I can see why you’re very concerned about this. What a terrible experience. I don’t have children, but I have never wanted to harm one — I think these guys just resent not having Mama Vagina all to themselves. They see the kid as a rival, just as my stupid boyfriends would try to get me to give away my cats. Of course, we are talking about SICK guys here. Real men love cats and are capable of seeing a child as a person and not some little squalling package that comes along with the woman.

  • WryBread

    WinSomeLoseSome — I can see why you’re very concerned about this. What a terrible experience. I don’t have children, but I have never wanted to harm one — I think these guys just resent not having Mama Vagina all to themselves. They see the kid as a rival, just as my stupid boyfriends would try to get me to give away my cats. Of course, we are talking about SICK guys here. Real men love cats and are capable of seeing a child as a person and not some little squalling package that comes along with the woman.

  • MizL

    I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    Good for you, winsomelosesome! I was the same way, though my son was 3 when I began dating my now husband. We dated for about 4 months before I even invited him over to my house to properly introduce them. Luckily, once they met they hit it off great. They are very close now (8 yrs later) and my husband loves and treats him just as he does the child we have together. Maybe I just got lucky and found a great guy, I dunno. But, maybe if more single mothers acted responsibly as we did, we’d have a helluva lot less abused and dead babies in this world. I just can not understand women who put a penis above the safety of their children. It’s disgusting.

    I really hope this asshole gets whats coming to him. There is no excuse for abusing a child. And if the boys mother knew what was happening and did nothing, she’s just as guilty as her boyfriend.

  • MizL

    I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    Good for you, winsomelosesome! I was the same way, though my son was 3 when I began dating my now husband. We dated for about 4 months before I even invited him over to my house to properly introduce them. Luckily, once they met they hit it off great. They are very close now (8 yrs later) and my husband loves and treats him just as he does the child we have together. Maybe I just got lucky and found a great guy, I dunno. But, maybe if more single mothers acted responsibly as we did, we’d have a helluva lot less abused and dead babies in this world. I just can not understand women who put a penis above the safety of their children. It’s disgusting.

    I really hope this asshole gets whats coming to him. There is no excuse for abusing a child. And if the boys mother knew what was happening and did nothing, she’s just as guilty as her boyfriend.

  • momoftwins

    God, what a horrible person. That poor little kid. The image of him bending that kids fingers back until he screamed makes me want to cry. I would kill anyone who hurt my kids like that. What a miserable piece of shit.

  • momoftwins

    God, what a horrible person. That poor little kid. The image of him bending that kids fingers back until he screamed makes me want to cry. I would kill anyone who hurt my kids like that. What a miserable piece of shit.

  • thepooh5

    Wrybread: I don’t totally disagree and I am a single mom. I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    I know what you mean. My husband is not my son’s father. He has never been allowed to discipline him. He better not talk too shapely, either. My rule was tell me I’ll handle it. We have had a lot of trouble over this stuff – but like you said tough nuts – for myself and my husband. But it has never been tough nuts for my kid. Unacceptable.

    I must admit after 10 years together (we’ve been together 15 now) and this arrangement working, I have let my husband watch my kid alone. Only for a few hours and never overnight. Also, my son was very aware that I would kill the step-dad, if he harmed him. He was also not a toddler, but pre-teen and knew that if he said the word the step was out.

    In fact, my son almost had too much power, because had he and my husband have had a real bad disagreement and my son had chosen to lie, my husband would have been out guilty or not. I take that back, he didn’t have too much power. And I say that because my son is safe, well, and never been spanked or yelled at by my husband. He has been spanked by me and his grandmother – (only spanked on the butt), but never his step-dad.

  • thepooh5

    Wrybread: I don’t totally disagree and I am a single mom. I purposely didn’t date for that very reason until my son was nearly 5. And when I finally found a great guy I still watch him like a hawk. If he so much as uses a tone I don’t like I’m all over him like a cheap suit. It must suck for him but tough nuts.

    I know what you mean. My husband is not my son’s father. He has never been allowed to discipline him. He better not talk too shapely, either. My rule was tell me I’ll handle it. We have had a lot of trouble over this stuff – but like you said tough nuts – for myself and my husband. But it has never been tough nuts for my kid. Unacceptable.

    I must admit after 10 years together (we’ve been together 15 now) and this arrangement working, I have let my husband watch my kid alone. Only for a few hours and never overnight. Also, my son was very aware that I would kill the step-dad, if he harmed him. He was also not a toddler, but pre-teen and knew that if he said the word the step was out.

    In fact, my son almost had too much power, because had he and my husband have had a real bad disagreement and my son had chosen to lie, my husband would have been out guilty or not. I take that back, he didn’t have too much power. And I say that because my son is safe, well, and never been spanked or yelled at by my husband. He has been spanked by me and his grandmother – (only spanked on the butt), but never his step-dad.

  • colomom

    I must admit after 10 years together (we’ve been together 15 now) and this arrangement working, I have let my husband watch my kid alone. Only for a few hours and never overnight. Also, my son was very aware that I would kill the step-dad, if he harmed him. He was also not a toddler, but pre-teen and knew that if he said the word the step was out.

    Way to step up to the plate Pooh, don’t doubt it girlfriend, your priorities are straight!!

    As mothers, our children must come first, over anybody. ~full stop~

  • colomom

    I must admit after 10 years together (we’ve been together 15 now) and this arrangement working, I have let my husband watch my kid alone. Only for a few hours and never overnight. Also, my son was very aware that I would kill the step-dad, if he harmed him. He was also not a toddler, but pre-teen and knew that if he said the word the step was out.

    Way to step up to the plate Pooh, don’t doubt it girlfriend, your priorities are straight!!

    As mothers, our children must come first, over anybody. ~full stop~

  • WryBread

    WinsomeLosesome, I love your screen name, especially because it incorporates the word “winsome,” which one doesn’t hear much now adays. I wonder if “losesome” would be the antonym. :)

  • WryBread

    WinsomeLosesome, I love your screen name, especially because it incorporates the word “winsome,” which one doesn’t hear much now adays. I wonder if “losesome” would be the antonym. :)

  • suki1435

    Right on to Pooh5 and Wrybread! Being a single mom is hard! And we all need companionship so naturally we seek the company of others. But just because a guy is into you doesnt mean he is necessarily into your kids. And this is where, as a mother, you put your kids first and stop dating him. Keep looking for someone that will love and accept you and your kids. If you are with a guy and he starts saying stuff like you are too easy on your kids or you need to punish your kids more… RUN! Alot of people dont have any idea how to correct a kid without harsh punishment so they think reasoning with a kid or giving them lots of chances to learn something is going too easy on them. Girls, stick to your guns and dont let your boyfriends rule your kids with an iron hand. Always protect your kids and if you are not sure if you can protect your kids from a potention abuser then get the hell out of the relationship! Like you said wrybread, it may be tough nuts for me and my boyfriend but never for my kid!

  • suki1435

    Right on to Pooh5 and Wrybread! Being a single mom is hard! And we all need companionship so naturally we seek the company of others. But just because a guy is into you doesnt mean he is necessarily into your kids. And this is where, as a mother, you put your kids first and stop dating him. Keep looking for someone that will love and accept you and your kids. If you are with a guy and he starts saying stuff like you are too easy on your kids or you need to punish your kids more… RUN! Alot of people dont have any idea how to correct a kid without harsh punishment so they think reasoning with a kid or giving them lots of chances to learn something is going too easy on them. Girls, stick to your guns and dont let your boyfriends rule your kids with an iron hand. Always protect your kids and if you are not sure if you can protect your kids from a potention abuser then get the hell out of the relationship! Like you said wrybread, it may be tough nuts for me and my boyfriend but never for my kid!

  • michelle

    In fact, my son almost had too much power, because had he and my husband have had a real bad disagreement and my son had chosen to lie, my husband would have been out guilty or not. I take that back, he didn’t have too much power. And I say that because my son is safe, well, and never been spanked or yelled at by my husband. He has been spanked by me and his grandmother – (only spanked on the butt), but never his step-dad.

    As mothers, our children must come first, over anybody. ~full stop~

    Gosh, while I luv you both here on dreamin demon, I disagree.

    I am remarried. Step-dad is a good guy and I know that as I knew him for years before getting married. To not let him have authority in a home in which he was helping pay bills, raising kids etc… is well imascualting. And really unfair. Now neither of use corporal punishment anyway, but when needed he can do the grounding, lecturing , etc… Shoot any respectful adult can call out my kids if they are in fact in the wrong.
    I expect them too- like at school. Common sense should be used, but hell we keep saying it takes a village and then when it comes to our own angels its “you can’t say that to my kid.”
    If you see my kid doing wrong call him on it. Don’t hit them. I would also like to add that I choose my kids first as well. However I believe its in there best interest to have respect for their step dad (who has been better to them in the last three years than their bio dad their entire life.)and other adults in authority.

  • michelle

    In fact, my son almost had too much power, because had he and my husband have had a real bad disagreement and my son had chosen to lie, my husband would have been out guilty or not. I take that back, he didn’t have too much power. And I say that because my son is safe, well, and never been spanked or yelled at by my husband. He has been spanked by me and his grandmother – (only spanked on the butt), but never his step-dad.

    As mothers, our children must come first, over anybody. ~full stop~

    Gosh, while I luv you both here on dreamin demon, I disagree.

    I am remarried. Step-dad is a good guy and I know that as I knew him for years before getting married. To not let him have authority in a home in which he was helping pay bills, raising kids etc… is well imascualting. And really unfair. Now neither of use corporal punishment anyway, but when needed he can do the grounding, lecturing , etc… Shoot any respectful adult can call out my kids if they are in fact in the wrong.
    I expect them too- like at school. Common sense should be used, but hell we keep saying it takes a village and then when it comes to our own angels its “you can’t say that to my kid.”
    If you see my kid doing wrong call him on it. Don’t hit them. I would also like to add that I choose my kids first as well. However I believe its in there best interest to have respect for their step dad (who has been better to them in the last three years than their bio dad their entire life.)and other adults in authority.

  • mm_classy

    I can see your point Michelle, but paying bills (at least to me) does not give my new husband any rights to my daughter. She calls him dad, and I make sure she respects him and talks properly to him. But for me, being a parent is a privilege. Not something that he can pay his way into. My daughter is MY child. MY responsibilty ultimitly and I am the one that deals with her when needed. I’ve said before on here, even when he’s scolding her… he has his eyes on ME. Watching and gauging my reaction to each word. If he ever says something I disagree with, he knows immediatly and simply shuts up. I then take over and say what I think should have been said in the first place. Right or wrong (from a step parent point of view) I dont give a shit. She is mine. God gave her to ME and I will at all costs protect her and take care of her.

  • mm_classy

    I can see your point Michelle, but paying bills (at least to me) does not give my new husband any rights to my daughter. She calls him dad, and I make sure she respects him and talks properly to him. But for me, being a parent is a privilege. Not something that he can pay his way into. My daughter is MY child. MY responsibilty ultimitly and I am the one that deals with her when needed. I’ve said before on here, even when he’s scolding her… he has his eyes on ME. Watching and gauging my reaction to each word. If he ever says something I disagree with, he knows immediatly and simply shuts up. I then take over and say what I think should have been said in the first place. Right or wrong (from a step parent point of view) I dont give a shit. She is mine. God gave her to ME and I will at all costs protect her and take care of her.

  • michelle

    I can see your point Michelle, but paying bills (at least to me) does not give my new husband any rights to my daughter. She calls him dad, and I make sure she respects him and talks properly to him. But for me, being a parent is a privilege. Not something that he can pay his way into. My daughter is MY child. MY responsibilty ultimitly and I am the one that deals with her when needed. I’ve said before on here, even when he’s scolding her… he has his eyes on ME. Watching and gauging my reaction to each word. If he ever says something I disagree with, he knows immediatly and simply shuts up. I then take over and say what I think should have been said in the first place. Right or wrong (from a step parent point of view) I dont give a shit. She is mine. God gave her to ME and I will at all costs protect her and take care of her.

    First I didn’t say PAYING the bills gave him rights to the kid. I am saying him deciding to take me on ( I am one hot, crazy, do what I want bitch) and 3 kids (a real decent guy), he must be a stand up guy. Money or circumstance would never overide respect. Respect from my kids to him and certainly him respecting our bond. Well with my snatch….It’s a given. We discussed all this before marriage. Our values and ideas on the kids were in line.
    Your’e comment about “your dick” watching you and gauging his words remind me of a eunic.
    Certainly you’re daughter is your child, but as we see here on DD NOT a
    possesion, but a human being.
    Many people can be involved in the upbringing of a child- as a parent you have to be smart!

  • michelle

    I can see your point Michelle, but paying bills (at least to me) does not give my new husband any rights to my daughter. She calls him dad, and I make sure she respects him and talks properly to him. But for me, being a parent is a privilege. Not something that he can pay his way into. My daughter is MY child. MY responsibilty ultimitly and I am the one that deals with her when needed. I’ve said before on here, even when he’s scolding her… he has his eyes on ME. Watching and gauging my reaction to each word. If he ever says something I disagree with, he knows immediatly and simply shuts up. I then take over and say what I think should have been said in the first place. Right or wrong (from a step parent point of view) I dont give a shit. She is mine. God gave her to ME and I will at all costs protect her and take care of her.

    First I didn’t say PAYING the bills gave him rights to the kid. I am saying him deciding to take me on ( I am one hot, crazy, do what I want bitch) and 3 kids (a real decent guy), he must be a stand up guy. Money or circumstance would never overide respect. Respect from my kids to him and certainly him respecting our bond. Well with my snatch….It’s a given. We discussed all this before marriage. Our values and ideas on the kids were in line.
    Your’e comment about “your dick” watching you and gauging his words remind me of a eunic.
    Certainly you’re daughter is your child, but as we see here on DD NOT a
    possesion, but a human being.
    Many people can be involved in the upbringing of a child- as a parent you have to be smart!

  • Angel

    I pretty much agree with Michelle. I am remarried to a great guy, who has supported my two from my first marriage for the ten years we’ve been married (and for two before we married), and treats them the same as our four kids we have together. He has set up college funds for them, paid for everything they needed or wanted, and I get the privilege of staying home with my babies, so I don’t have to leave them with strangers. My ex only paid child support for a few months, at most, out of the last twelve years. And while I don’t believe that anyone can ‘buy’ the rights to my children, he has more than earned the right to expect respect from them. Since they are both girls, of course, all of the corporal punishment is done by me, but I would be mad as hell if he were to refrain from verbally correcting them, if they needed it (and they frequently do). He actually has more ability to control the tone and volume of his voice than I do, most of the time. Having grown up in an abusive household as a child, I have to remind myself every day that I am a better person than my father was. And while I have never beaten or called my children names, as my father did to me, I sometimes have trouble keeping the volume of my voice below the decibel level of a freight train. Especially when one of the children has done something that I consider dangerous or willfully disobedient. I refuse to physically discipline them when I am angry, or even a upset, but I yell. My husband is usually a calming influence on me, and usually just his presence helps me to use a more reasonable tone. He is the gift God gave me as a reward for not killing my own father. He is not abusive to me or our children – any of them. But as I said, he also leaves the spanking of the two older girls to me. Or used to. I no longer spank them either, because I think that after about age 13 or 14, girls’ physical development is such that ‘spanking’ is no longer an appropriate punishment. And besides, taking away free time in order to give them extra chores both bothers them more and benefits me more than physical correction would. But I digress….
    I have never, and would never allow anyone to abuse my children, but as my husband and partner, I expect him to help in the ‘raising’ of all of our children. And he does, admirably.

    But, I’ve been with him long enough to know what he is and who he is, and I trust him – implicitly. And I have always told all of my children that I would never let anyone abuse them, and I would believe them if they told me it happened. And I would. All it would take is for one of them to tell me that he abused them in any way, and he would be looking for, among other things, a new wife. Because I know from experience that children seldom lie about such things. Sorry if I’ve pissed anybody off with this post, but I just wanted to put in my two cents worth.

  • Angel

    I pretty much agree with Michelle. I am remarried to a great guy, who has supported my two from my first marriage for the ten years we’ve been married (and for two before we married), and treats them the same as our four kids we have together. He has set up college funds for them, paid for everything they needed or wanted, and I get the privilege of staying home with my babies, so I don’t have to leave them with strangers. My ex only paid child support for a few months, at most, out of the last twelve years. And while I don’t believe that anyone can ‘buy’ the rights to my children, he has more than earned the right to expect respect from them. Since they are both girls, of course, all of the corporal punishment is done by me, but I would be mad as hell if he were to refrain from verbally correcting them, if they needed it (and they frequently do). He actually has more ability to control the tone and volume of his voice than I do, most of the time. Having grown up in an abusive household as a child, I have to remind myself every day that I am a better person than my father was. And while I have never beaten or called my children names, as my father did to me, I sometimes have trouble keeping the volume of my voice below the decibel level of a freight train. Especially when one of the children has done something that I consider dangerous or willfully disobedient. I refuse to physically discipline them when I am angry, or even a upset, but I yell. My husband is usually a calming influence on me, and usually just his presence helps me to use a more reasonable tone. He is the gift God gave me as a reward for not killing my own father. He is not abusive to me or our children – any of them. But as I said, he also leaves the spanking of the two older girls to me. Or used to. I no longer spank them either, because I think that after about age 13 or 14, girls’ physical development is such that ‘spanking’ is no longer an appropriate punishment. And besides, taking away free time in order to give them extra chores both bothers them more and benefits me more than physical correction would. But I digress….
    I have never, and would never allow anyone to abuse my children, but as my husband and partner, I expect him to help in the ‘raising’ of all of our children. And he does, admirably.

    But, I’ve been with him long enough to know what he is and who he is, and I trust him – implicitly. And I have always told all of my children that I would never let anyone abuse them, and I would believe them if they told me it happened. And I would. All it would take is for one of them to tell me that he abused them in any way, and he would be looking for, among other things, a new wife. Because I know from experience that children seldom lie about such things. Sorry if I’ve pissed anybody off with this post, but I just wanted to put in my two cents worth.

  • Kdogg

    It’s a catch 22 many single parents face. Of course the kids come first and any physical punishment should be left to the bio parent but the stepparent should have the authority to punish if need be. Otherwise the kids WILL have too much power and use it to their advantage

  • Kdogg

    It’s a catch 22 many single parents face. Of course the kids come first and any physical punishment should be left to the bio parent but the stepparent should have the authority to punish if need be. Otherwise the kids WILL have too much power and use it to their advantage

  • thepooh5

    O-kay, maybe, I posted it incorrectly. My husband, can “call” my son on what he is doing wrong and ask him to stop, as could any responsible adult – but that’s where it ends.. If he is going to hurt himself or others he may lay his hands on him to restrain him. He will never be able to punish him. He will never be allowed to say “your grounded for two weeks” – he may say alright no tv, no phone, no games until your mom gets home. If my son, tries to watch tv anyway, my husband knows how to flip the breaker switch to turn off the power to his room. He can physically take his phone and playstation out of his room – but he better not lay a hand on my son.

    My husband has had and has the ability to TELL me what MY child has done. I deal with and dealt with it, always. I’m glad that your new husband and you have the arrangment that you do. It is not for my family, though. Each family is different. This is just the arrangment that it took to be with me – and me = package deal of me and my son. When, it comes to my child, its my way or the highway. My husband once told me, “…..well, at least, if anything does happen, no one will blame me, ’cause everyone knows I’m not allowed to do anything to XXXXXX”

    While your husband may do more for your child than his bio dad did – I know exactly what you mean. BUT, if my son’s bio dad was around, he would still have to deal with me over the child, in which I gave birth. I’m not saying my son’s bio dad would not be allowed to spank him – but he better not spank him too hard. I’m not saying bio-dad couldn’t yell at my son, but it better not be too much. I would have been all over the bio-dad’s ass, too. I guess with that said, had he not have left me when our son was 4 months old – he probably would have when the real child rearing years became an issue.

    I don’t care step or bio, my kid is gonna be treated a certain way, period. At the same time, my child is gonna act a certain way – show respect, not steal and lie, not be a brat, have manners, etc., period.

    I’m not downing steps. I would only point out, that when you let a step discipline your child, you are opening your self up to all kinds of trouble, whether it be from the bio-parent or others saying “why does she let that man discipline her kid?” Some bio-parents that are non-custodial parents – would use the step giving a spanking, (and yes I do mean a spanking that I support) as an excuse to modify custody – “she allows her new man to beat my child”.

    And if something happens, well, you can see for yourself, how the public in general, views steps being able to dole out punishment, to kids that are not their own. My son was pre-teen before my husband could even be home alone with him for a few hours. My son and I are the “family” – my new husband -even though we’ve been together 15 years – is still an “extra”, “a luxury” – he is not a requirement and can be done without, at any time. My son cannot. I’m all he has and I will not fail him, if at all possible.

  • thepooh5

    O-kay, maybe, I posted it incorrectly. My husband, can “call” my son on what he is doing wrong and ask him to stop, as could any responsible adult – but that’s where it ends.. If he is going to hurt himself or others he may lay his hands on him to restrain him. He will never be able to punish him. He will never be allowed to say “your grounded for two weeks” – he may say alright no tv, no phone, no games until your mom gets home. If my son, tries to watch tv anyway, my husband knows how to flip the breaker switch to turn off the power to his room. He can physically take his phone and playstation out of his room – but he better not lay a hand on my son.

    My husband has had and has the ability to TELL me what MY child has done. I deal with and dealt with it, always. I’m glad that your new husband and you have the arrangment that you do. It is not for my family, though. Each family is different. This is just the arrangment that it took to be with me – and me = package deal of me and my son. When, it comes to my child, its my way or the highway. My husband once told me, “…..well, at least, if anything does happen, no one will blame me, ’cause everyone knows I’m not allowed to do anything to XXXXXX”

    While your husband may do more for your child than his bio dad did – I know exactly what you mean. BUT, if my son’s bio dad was around, he would still have to deal with me over the child, in which I gave birth. I’m not saying my son’s bio dad would not be allowed to spank him – but he better not spank him too hard. I’m not saying bio-dad couldn’t yell at my son, but it better not be too much. I would have been all over the bio-dad’s ass, too. I guess with that said, had he not have left me when our son was 4 months old – he probably would have when the real child rearing years became an issue.

    I don’t care step or bio, my kid is gonna be treated a certain way, period. At the same time, my child is gonna act a certain way – show respect, not steal and lie, not be a brat, have manners, etc., period.

    I’m not downing steps. I would only point out, that when you let a step discipline your child, you are opening your self up to all kinds of trouble, whether it be from the bio-parent or others saying “why does she let that man discipline her kid?” Some bio-parents that are non-custodial parents – would use the step giving a spanking, (and yes I do mean a spanking that I support) as an excuse to modify custody – “she allows her new man to beat my child”.

    And if something happens, well, you can see for yourself, how the public in general, views steps being able to dole out punishment, to kids that are not their own. My son was pre-teen before my husband could even be home alone with him for a few hours. My son and I are the “family” – my new husband -even though we’ve been together 15 years – is still an “extra”, “a luxury” – he is not a requirement and can be done without, at any time. My son cannot. I’m all he has and I will not fail him, if at all possible.

  • thepooh5

    On a final note, this policy is a two way street. My son also knew that if his step-dad had “called” him on some bad behavior or had expressly told him to do or not do something and the step actually had to tell me about my son’s bad behavior or disobedience – my son knew he would be in so much trouble. He knew that he was expected to respect him and do as he was ask, just as if any authority figure had asked him.

    If you demand your new spouse not discipline your child and that you will handle it – you must stick to that. If you expect the spouse to stick to the rules you lay down, you have to stick to them, too, and do the disciplining needed. While my kid knew certain things, my husband knew that I would handle it and not just sweep it under the rug, because it was my little darling. Maybe that is how we were able to live under these conditions I set as a requirement to be around my child, I don’t know.

    Since my child, has not been abused by the step in his life, I think I made a pretty good decision – that’s not saying, if things were different that my now husband would have abused my son – but now we don’t have to ever find out. I do not think he would – but plenty of good parents have thought the same.

    And, finally, just because others choose to let the steps discipline, I’m not downing them either – like pointed out – some steps are three times the parents bio’s are. I guess its what ever each family is able to make work for their situations. This just happened to be mine.

  • thepooh5

    On a final note, this policy is a two way street. My son also knew that if his step-dad had “called” him on some bad behavior or had expressly told him to do or not do something and the step actually had to tell me about my son’s bad behavior or disobedience – my son knew he would be in so much trouble. He knew that he was expected to respect him and do as he was ask, just as if any authority figure had asked him.

    If you demand your new spouse not discipline your child and that you will handle it – you must stick to that. If you expect the spouse to stick to the rules you lay down, you have to stick to them, too, and do the disciplining needed. While my kid knew certain things, my husband knew that I would handle it and not just sweep it under the rug, because it was my little darling. Maybe that is how we were able to live under these conditions I set as a requirement to be around my child, I don’t know.

    Since my child, has not been abused by the step in his life, I think I made a pretty good decision – that’s not saying, if things were different that my now husband would have abused my son – but now we don’t have to ever find out. I do not think he would – but plenty of good parents have thought the same.

    And, finally, just because others choose to let the steps discipline, I’m not downing them either – like pointed out – some steps are three times the parents bio’s are. I guess its what ever each family is able to make work for their situations. This just happened to be mine.

  • http://pirellisgarage.blogspot.com/ Pirelli Jones

    I pretty much agree with Michelle. I am remarried to a great guy, who has supported my two from my first marriage for the ten years we’ve been married (and for two before we married), and treats them the same as our four kids we have together.

    I like this argument though I am not in this position and only speaking from an introspective of having watched my cousin re-marry, she focused on establishing a solid family, her daughter with his daughter and son. No corporal punishment in this family, equal right to discipline as needed. They are only a few months in so its an experiment underway. I can see you would have to have similar beliefs on punishment and limits, and probably a helluva lot of trust considering what we see in the news all too often…

  • http://pirellisgarage.blogspot.com/ Pirelli Jones

    I pretty much agree with Michelle. I am remarried to a great guy, who has supported my two from my first marriage for the ten years we’ve been married (and for two before we married), and treats them the same as our four kids we have together.

    I like this argument though I am not in this position and only speaking from an introspective of having watched my cousin re-marry, she focused on establishing a solid family, her daughter with his daughter and son. No corporal punishment in this family, equal right to discipline as needed. They are only a few months in so its an experiment underway. I can see you would have to have similar beliefs on punishment and limits, and probably a helluva lot of trust considering what we see in the news all too often…

  • Icantbelieveiknowher

    So I recently was told by someone to look up this article on the star tribume. I am totally disgusted by her. I’m not sure if that is him in that picture because he is more heavy set and his hair is dishwater blonde. I know that little boy and he does not deserve what he has been dealt with in life. His mother is a sorry piece of trash. I can’t believe she is still dating him and she goes to every court date to stand by her so called man. What a man. The boys biological dad used to beat her and her son. That is what she told me out of her mouth. That’s why shes not with him. But why is she with this guy? He’s doing the same thing I don’t know the whole story but this is completely baffling to me. Mothers are always suppose to protect their children. I don’t know who cotacted the authorities but I would like to thank them. If I would have known I would have punched her myself.

  • Icantbelieveiknowher

    So I recently was told by someone to look up this article on the star tribume. I am totally disgusted by her. I’m not sure if that is him in that picture because he is more heavy set and his hair is dishwater blonde. I know that little boy and he does not deserve what he has been dealt with in life. His mother is a sorry piece of trash. I can’t believe she is still dating him and she goes to every court date to stand by her so called man. What a man. The boys biological dad used to beat her and her son. That is what she told me out of her mouth. That’s why shes not with him. But why is she with this guy? He’s doing the same thing I don’t know the whole story but this is completely baffling to me. Mothers are always suppose to protect their children. I don’t know who cotacted the authorities but I would like to thank them. If I would have known I would have punched her myself.

  • Becca

    Hey, Icantbelieveiknowher–thanks so much for posting. I hope you’ll hang around, and I hope that little boy is okay.

  • Becca

    Hey, Icantbelieveiknowher–thanks so much for posting. I hope you’ll hang around, and I hope that little boy is okay.

  • Becca

    forgot to put in there, but the above comment posted by me “Becca” was actually from Lizard..she was unable to post herself so those are her words, not mine..

  • Becca

    forgot to put in there, but the above comment posted by me “Becca” was actually from Lizard..she was unable to post herself so those are her words, not mine..

  • Icantbelieveiknowher

    he’s do fine considering and just celebrated his 4th b-day

  • Icantbelieveiknowher

    he’s do fine considering and just celebrated his 4th b-day

  • MadeaBecBec
  • MadeaBecBec
  • banon

    The mother was NOT one of the witnesses, the person who turned him in was his 12 year old daughter who witnessed these actions and brought it to the attention of the little boy's mother.

  • banon

    This is not him! Not even close!

  • Anonymous

    I would like to add to this conversation.  I am Steve’ ex-wife and it was my daughter who turned him in for hurting the little boy. He truly is an asshat as someone mentioned but the links that you have for photos are not the correct guy.  This steve is a nobody. He doesn’t own a business, he doesnt even work. He lives in SD and gets state aid.  He doesn’t pay his child support and has very little to do with my kids.  In fact my daughter refuses to spend anytime with him.  Oh, and the loser mother of the little boy?   She married him and now the little boy has to live full time with his abuser.   How is that for a messed up situation and a stupid bitch of a woman?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001405714239 Rex Lee

    Please contact me, I am the father  and this is the first I have heard of this, OMG, Colleen has prevented me from seeing my son for years now I know why

  • Anonymous

    This is fucked up shit, I am the father of the little boy, this rotten bitch Colleen Liebaert kept this from me and has lied and fought me in court for years refusing to let me see my son.  As far as her lies about me abusing her and my son not one word of truth in those statements.  When I came across this article I immediately called and threatened there lives, they ran to the local sheriff who called me he agreed with my emotional but ask me not to have any violent acts in his county, I agreeded and am pursueing this in the legal manner.  This rotton bitch is a worthless piece of lying garbage and appropriate steps are being taken

  • anonymous

    She prevented you from seeing him because of worse things that I’ve heard so I would stop talking cause you certainly wouldn’t get the best dad award anyways

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