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Daniel Edward Ray: Vibrator Thief

January 24, 2008 at 8:30 am by  

 Not Maurice

Springfield, MO -    Daniel Edward Ray, 36,  is a tweaker who really, really likes his butt plugs.   Ray broke into three adult novelty stores during a ninety-minute spree over the weekend.  With his mini-van as the entry object.  He left the registers and high-dollar porn alone, and stole only what police call “merchandise” and what I call “vibrators and assorted toys”. 

On Monday, police found a number of the toys – some unopened, a few maybe used – in a trash barrel at Tom Watkins Park in Springfield.   Where kids play.  Because nothing’s fun like seeing a preschooler grab a dildo out of a trash bin and ask, “Mommy, what’s this?”

Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons.  After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield.  She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff.  She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

Then on Tuesday, Ray called Simmons to tell her that he’d been on the news.  He’s bright like that, I’m noticing.  Simmons called police, who invited her to come in and talk about her ex,  and also to check out the surveillance videos.   Tara Simmons identified Ray as the guy the Springfield press was calling “the sex toy bandit” or “the gangster of love” (which actually was sort of cool.  I was going to headline this article ‘Daniel Ray Changes Name to Maurice’ until I saw that.)

At about 3:00 pm on Tuesday, police arrested Ray at his workplace, where Ray’s damaged van was sitting in the parking lot.  I told you this guy was a wizard.   He denied everything, like ya do, until cops told him about the surveillance tapes and showed him blood and fingerprint evidence from the stores.

At that point Ray changed tactics and blamed it on the meth, telling officers that he was “really high” and that meth makes him “do crazy things that involves sex toys and pornographic material” and that he’s “really sick in the head”.  Then Ray asked if his parole was gonna be revoked.  The answer to that question is “Yes, dumbass.”

Ray got out of prison in November 2007 after serving four years of concurrent ten year sentences.  He is on parole for, guess what, burglary and tampering in Greene County.  Which is pretty much what he’s going back in on as well.   Naturally, he also has earlier drug convictions.     Ray is charged with three counts of second-degree burglary and a parole violation, so he’ll go back up until 2013.

I really hope he enjoyed his brief time out and got a lot of good use out of those toys.   And many thanks to Ells, who first broke this story in the forums before they had a suspect.  Also, thanks to my local sources, some of whom know this guy.  I love the ‘Zarks.

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  • LL44

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

  • LL44

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

  • LL44

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

  • LL44

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

  • thepooh5

    WTH – talk about dumb crook news. No cash, no hi-end porn, nothing – why did he need 3 stores, didn’t they have his size or color at the first two?

    I’d love to hear his answer to the question of “what are you in for, man?” – how would you even answer that question? Dumbass, dildo theif……………………..

  • thepooh5

    WTH – talk about dumb crook news. No cash, no hi-end porn, nothing – why did he need 3 stores, didn’t they have his size or color at the first two?

    I’d love to hear his answer to the question of “what are you in for, man?” – how would you even answer that question? Dumbass, dildo theif……………………..

  • thepooh5

    WTH – talk about dumb crook news. No cash, no hi-end porn, nothing – why did he need 3 stores, didn’t they have his size or color at the first two?

    I’d love to hear his answer to the question of “what are you in for, man?” – how would you even answer that question? Dumbass, dildo theif……………………..

  • thepooh5

    WTH – talk about dumb crook news. No cash, no hi-end porn, nothing – why did he need 3 stores, didn’t they have his size or color at the first two?

    I’d love to hear his answer to the question of “what are you in for, man?” – how would you even answer that question? Dumbass, dildo theif……………………..

  • thepooh5

    WTH – talk about dumb crook news. No cash, no hi-end porn, nothing – why did he need 3 stores, didn’t they have his size or color at the first two?

    I’d love to hear his answer to the question of “what are you in for, man?” – how would you even answer that question? Dumbass, dildo theif……………………..

  • Miss. Hill

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

    That’s really why he did this he missed the anal penetration ;)

  • Miss. Hill

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

    That’s really why he did this he missed the anal penetration ;)

  • Miss. Hill

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

    That’s really why he did this he missed the anal penetration ;)

  • Miss. Hill

    he won’t need a buttplug where he’s going…he’ll be getting the “real deal” on a very regular basis! lol

    That’s really why he did this he missed the anal penetration ;)

  • http://www.myspace.com/sparkles3844 ells9824

    Drugs make me look at porn and use vibrators… awesome.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sparkles3844 ells9824

    Drugs make me look at porn and use vibrators… awesome.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sparkles3844 ells9824

    Drugs make me look at porn and use vibrators… awesome.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sparkles3844 ells9824

    Drugs make me look at porn and use vibrators… awesome.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sparkles3844 ells9824

    Drugs make me look at porn and use vibrators… awesome.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

  • http://dreamindemon.com/ impqueen

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

    Or THREE. :)

  • http://dreamindemon.com/ impqueen

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

    Or THREE. :)

  • http://dreamindemon.com impqueen

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop.

    Or THREE. :)

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop. Makes people think you can’t get a real date.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop. Makes people think you can’t get a real date.

  • WryBread

    I think he’s going to have the chance soon to play with some real toys. Maybe more than he’d like.

    I like the way he’s trying to look all sensitive and dignifed in his mug shot. Must be pretty embarrassing to be arrested for breaking and entering (tee, hee) a sex shop. Makes people think you can’t get a real date.

  • Unamused

    Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons. After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield. She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff. She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

    I would have to insist on anonymity. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that perv was an ex.

  • Unamused

    Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons. After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield. She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff. She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

    I would have to insist on anonymity. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that perv was an ex.

  • Unamused

    Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons. After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield. She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff. She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

    I would have to insist on anonymity. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that perv was an ex.

  • Unamused

    Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons. After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield. She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff. She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

    I would have to insist on anonymity. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that perv was an ex.

  • Unamused

    Enter Ray’s ex-girlfriend, Tara Simmons. After the local newscast broke the story, Tara recognized Ray’s dark purple Dodge Caravan, used to crunch open windows and doors at Cosmic Fish, Victoria’s Palace and Adam & Eve of Springfield. She also recognized Ray’s penchant for the pervy stuff. She may also have recognized a little opportunity for the coolest revenge ever.

    I would have to insist on anonymity. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that perv was an ex.

  • quitcherbitchin

    I know more info about Danny Ray, I can tell you that when he was in prison for those 4 yrs. he was raped and liked it, that’s another reason why he did those robberies and also his car was broke down in a friend of mines backyard and she had called the cops on him because he beat her up pretty bad and the cops looked in his car and found a cucumber with a condom on it (it was fresh at the time and it also had shit stains on it, you know he used that bad boy, it was a big one too!!) and there was also a portable vagina with a dildo attatched to it and videos and lotions and magazines all in the front seat, she had his car towed and sent to the crusher with all that nasty stuff in there too, and after that, some time later he tried to break in her house in broad daylight in the early morning hours but she was there and caught him and he tried to lie about it. Yup he’s a weiner, I mean winner. The smell of pickles gives him wood hee hee hee !! get it? cucumbers? Anyway, he’s a real douch bag, he keeps getting into trouble and ends right back in prison, I think he likes it there !! Bet you are wondering how I know these things huh? Well, I was there to see the evidence in his car, my friend told everyone she knew and showed them too !! I tell ya, it was a sight to see folks !! I will never eat a cucumber again !!

  • quitcherbitchin

    I know more info about Danny Ray, I can tell you that when he was in prison for those 4 yrs. he was raped and liked it, that’s another reason why he did those robberies and also his car was broke down in a friend of mines backyard and she had called the cops on him because he beat her up pretty bad and the cops looked in his car and found a cucumber with a condom on it (it was fresh at the time and it also had shit stains on it, you know he used that bad boy, it was a big one too!!) and there was also a portable vagina with a dildo attatched to it and videos and lotions and magazines all in the front seat, she had his car towed and sent to the crusher with all that nasty stuff in there too, and after that, some time later he tried to break in her house in broad daylight in the early morning hours but she was there and caught him and he tried to lie about it. Yup he’s a weiner, I mean winner. The smell of pickles gives him wood hee hee hee !! get it? cucumbers? Anyway, he’s a real douch bag, he keeps getting into trouble and ends right back in prison, I think he likes it there !! Bet you are wondering how I know these things huh? Well, I was there to see the evidence in his car, my friend told everyone she knew and showed them too !! I tell ya, it was a sight to see folks !! I will never eat a cucumber again !!

  • quitcherbitchin

    I know more info about Danny Ray, I can tell you that when he was in prison for those 4 yrs. he was raped and liked it, that’s another reason why he did those robberies and also his car was broke down in a friend of mines backyard and she had called the cops on him because he beat her up pretty bad and the cops looked in his car and found a cucumber with a condom on it (it was fresh at the time and it also had shit stains on it, you know he used that bad boy, it was a big one too!!) and there was also a portable vagina with a dildo attatched to it and videos and lotions and magazines all in the front seat, she had his car towed and sent to the crusher with all that nasty stuff in there too, and after that, some time later he tried to break in her house in broad daylight in the early morning hours but she was there and caught him and he tried to lie about it. Yup he’s a weiner, I mean winner. The smell of pickles gives him wood hee hee hee !! get it? cucumbers? Anyway, he’s a real douch bag, he keeps getting into trouble and ends right back in prison, I think he likes it there !! Bet you are wondering how I know these things huh? Well, I was there to see the evidence in his car, my friend told everyone she knew and showed them too !! I tell ya, it was a sight to see folks !! I will never eat a cucumber again !!

  • quitcherbitchin

    I know more info about Danny Ray, I can tell you that when he was in prison for those 4 yrs. he was raped and liked it, that’s another reason why he did those robberies and also his car was broke down in a friend of mines backyard and she had called the cops on him because he beat her up pretty bad and the cops looked in his car and found a cucumber with a condom on it (it was fresh at the time and it also had shit stains on it, you know he used that bad boy, it was a big one too!!) and there was also a portable vagina with a dildo attatched to it and videos and lotions and magazines all in the front seat, she had his car towed and sent to the crusher with all that nasty stuff in there too, and after that, some time later he tried to break in her house in broad daylight in the early morning hours but she was there and caught him and he tried to lie about it. Yup he’s a weiner, I mean winner. The smell of pickles gives him wood hee hee hee !! get it? cucumbers? Anyway, he’s a real douch bag, he keeps getting into trouble and ends right back in prison, I think he likes it there !! Bet you are wondering how I know these things huh? Well, I was there to see the evidence in his car, my friend told everyone she knew and showed them too !! I tell ya, it was a sight to see folks !! I will never eat a cucumber again !!

  • quitcherbitchin

    I know more info about Danny Ray, I can tell you that when he was in prison for those 4 yrs. he was raped and liked it, that’s another reason why he did those robberies and also his car was broke down in a friend of mines backyard and she had called the cops on him because he beat her up pretty bad and the cops looked in his car and found a cucumber with a condom on it (it was fresh at the time and it also had shit stains on it, you know he used that bad boy, it was a big one too!!) and there was also a portable vagina with a dildo attatched to it and videos and lotions and magazines all in the front seat, she had his car towed and sent to the crusher with all that nasty stuff in there too, and after that, some time later he tried to break in her house in broad daylight in the early morning hours but she was there and caught him and he tried to lie about it. Yup he’s a weiner, I mean winner. The smell of pickles gives him wood hee hee hee !! get it? cucumbers? Anyway, he’s a real douch bag, he keeps getting into trouble and ends right back in prison, I think he likes it there !! Bet you are wondering how I know these things huh? Well, I was there to see the evidence in his car, my friend told everyone she knew and showed them too !! I tell ya, it was a sight to see folks !! I will never eat a cucumber again !!

  • quitcherbitchin

    Oh yeah I forgot to say something about that stupid bitch Tara, she ran with him and helped commit those crimes, she was the driver when he robbed Pricilla’s sex shop. That wasn’t the only store either. He rammed a ford taurus through another sex shop too and got caught on video hitting his head pretty hard and stumbling around while grabbing sex toys. He also crashed Tara’s car too which was a dodge dynasty and they were both tweaking. Suprised? I don’t quite know what charges she got but I do know she had to go to rehab courtesy of the courts and escaped, her first night. She used to stay with Danny and his dad along with her 3 kids and I don’t know where she had her kids when they crashed her car, they were probably in the car with them. The reason she ratted on Danny was because he done some dope and went on a sex toy shopping spree without her and it pissed her off. Awe poor Tara didn’t get no dope. Anyway that’s about it, ……I think……. If I think of anything else, I will be back. hee hee hee

  • quitcherbitchin

    Oh yeah I forgot to say something about that stupid bitch Tara, she ran with him and helped commit those crimes, she was the driver when he robbed Pricilla’s sex shop. That wasn’t the only store either. He rammed a ford taurus through another sex shop too and got caught on video hitting his head pretty hard and stumbling around while grabbing sex toys. He also crashed Tara’s car too which was a dodge dynasty and they were both tweaking. Suprised? I don’t quite know what charges she got but I do know she had to go to rehab courtesy of the courts and escaped, her first night. She used to stay with Danny and his dad along with her 3 kids and I don’t know where she had her kids when they crashed her car, they were probably in the car with them. The reason she ratted on Danny was because he done some dope and went on a sex toy shopping spree without her and it pissed her off. Awe poor Tara didn’t get no dope. Anyway that’s about it, ……I think……. If I think of anything else, I will be back. hee hee hee

  • quitcherbitchin

    Oh yeah I forgot to say something about that stupid bitch Tara, she ran with him and helped commit those crimes, she was the driver when he robbed Pricilla’s sex shop. That wasn’t the only store either. He rammed a ford taurus through another sex shop too and got caught on video hitting his head pretty hard and stumbling around while grabbing sex toys. He also crashed Tara’s car too which was a dodge dynasty and they were both tweaking. Suprised? I don’t quite know what charges she got but I do know she had to go to rehab courtesy of the courts and escaped, her first night. She used to stay with Danny and his dad along with her 3 kids and I don’t know where she had her kids when they crashed her car, they were probably in the car with them. The reason she ratted on Danny was because he done some dope and went on a sex toy shopping spree without her and it pissed her off. Awe poor Tara didn’t get no dope. Anyway that’s about it, ……I think……. If I think of anything else, I will be back. hee hee hee

  • quitcherbitchin

    Oh yeah I forgot to say something about that stupid bitch Tara, she ran with him and helped commit those crimes, she was the driver when he robbed Pricilla’s sex shop. That wasn’t the only store either. He rammed a ford taurus through another sex shop too and got caught on video hitting his head pretty hard and stumbling around while grabbing sex toys. He also crashed Tara’s car too which was a dodge dynasty and they were both tweaking. Suprised? I don’t quite know what charges she got but I do know she had to go to rehab courtesy of the courts and escaped, her first night. She used to stay with Danny and his dad along with her 3 kids and I don’t know where she had her kids when they crashed her car, they were probably in the car with them. The reason she ratted on Danny was because he done some dope and went on a sex toy shopping spree without her and it pissed her off. Awe poor Tara didn’t get no dope. Anyway that’s about it, ……I think……. If I think of anything else, I will be back. hee hee hee

  • quitcherbitchin

    Oh yeah I forgot to say something about that stupid bitch Tara, she ran with him and helped commit those crimes, she was the driver when he robbed Pricilla’s sex shop. That wasn’t the only store either. He rammed a ford taurus through another sex shop too and got caught on video hitting his head pretty hard and stumbling around while grabbing sex toys. He also crashed Tara’s car too which was a dodge dynasty and they were both tweaking. Suprised? I don’t quite know what charges she got but I do know she had to go to rehab courtesy of the courts and escaped, her first night. She used to stay with Danny and his dad along with her 3 kids and I don’t know where she had her kids when they crashed her car, they were probably in the car with them. The reason she ratted on Danny was because he done some dope and went on a sex toy shopping spree without her and it pissed her off. Awe poor Tara didn’t get no dope. Anyway that’s about it, ……I think……. If I think of anything else, I will be back. hee hee hee