aspartame
2:32 pm on November 15th, 2007
“I would rather have sex with a drawer full of forks.”
OMG you just made me spit coffee all over my keyboard!!! thanks alot! im gonna have you help me explain this to IT.
thepooh5
3:22 pm on November 15th, 2007
LOL “aspartame”. Sorry, to laugh, but I would love to hear the explination you come up with for IT. Morbid is right he’s a brave man. Morbid I just had a mental image of that ya know the dog diggin a hole while that dude’s penis is hanging out of his mouth LOL!! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
All I can say at least he wasn’t molesting a child. Thank the good Lord in heaven for that.
Morbid
3:31 pm on November 15th, 2007
Yeah, overall, this seems to be a pretty victimless crime. Hell, had things been opposite, and he was giving the dog oral, I say just leave them alone.
Just kidding, but I mean come on, you cant tell me you haven’t seen some people out there that if you had to make a choice between sex with them, and an animal, that you would actually have to think a second?
But this story has me thinking…what happened in this guys life that had him make the jump. I’ve been around a lot of dogs…but for the life of me I wouldn’t be able to tell you which ones would be interested in giving me oral. Is there some type of code that let’s you know “yes, this one will pleasure you without detaching and then swallowing your penis” or do you just kind of have to stick it in their face and pray?
thepooh5
3:43 pm on November 15th, 2007
aspartame – hope ya weren’t drinkin coffee when you read Morbid’s last post.
LOL – I’m glad to dog wasn’t violated. Just can’t the visual out of my head.
What are they gonna charge him with?
Morbid
3:53 pm on November 15th, 2007
They charged him with misdemeanor cruelty to animals and indecent-exposure. He pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor animal-cruelty charge but the indecent-exposure charge was dropped as part of a plea bargain.
thepooh5
4:06 pm on November 15th, 2007
Animal cruelty? Did he have the dog by the ears guiding it? Sorry, that was mean. But as a woman, the hard part is to keep a dog’s nose out of your crotch.
Was he charged with indecent-exposure becasue he exposed himself to the dog? or because of who ever caught him?
And, if you were the one that caught him – how could you stop laughing long enough to report it? I am a dog lover but for the life of me I cannot see how he was being cruel to the animal – save pulling its ears LOL>
Morbid thank you for posting this. I have not laughed so hard in a long time. And, we certainly needed something on the lighter side with Rowan and Megan and Baby Grace and so on and so on.
ballgirl
4:56 pm on November 15th, 2007
Oral sex on a man by a dog? Aside from biting, chewing & licking I was not aware dogs had sucking capabilities…I’m impressed. Gives new meaning to the term “man’s best friend.”
thepooh5
5:37 pm on November 15th, 2007
Ballgirl – now we have to compete with dogs oral skills, too. Damn! LOL. I have been LMAO since this story posted.
aspartame
6:30 pm on November 15th, 2007
HAHAAA – i have not come up with anything good yet. im hoping it dries out and none of the keys get stuck.
Hahaa and I agree how does one know if the dog is looking at you with the “ohhh baby I wanna suck yo di*k” look? and the real question of this whole story is -Who ever looks at a dog and thinks “oh yeah i want that tongue all over me” YEAH BABY!! *gag*
dop
8:11 pm on November 15th, 2007
Im guessing he realised it wouldnt bite his dick because it would lick witougth biting his hands and such.This dork likley spent a good time with the dog before hand and not just pulled it out at the first bitch that waged her tail at him. Still I wouldnt trust my exposed junk to any dog.
Im thinking this is disgusting but if he didnt forced himselve on the dog I hardly see the animal cruelty really being there, still it was likley a mather of time before he did tried to fuck a dog in the rump im sure.
bexter
12:02 am on November 16th, 2007
lol, the mental picture is whats so funny, and with a bassett? Puts whole new meaning to “slob on bob”. lolololol Maybe he rubbed himself with gravy or something to make the dog want to lick and such on him. lol EWWWW,
aspartame, try folding a paper town in to flat edges and slide it down between your keys on all directions til it comes out dry. Can you tell I have spilled stuff on mine before and it still works well if you do this.
Thanks for sharing this new story with us, first laugh I have had in awhile.
thepooh5
10:42 am on November 16th, 2007
Still LMAO – still have the visual – Let’s say he actually goes to jail for this – can you imagine his answer to “hey man what are you in for”?
I would lie. LOL
thepooh5
10:44 am on November 16th, 2007
Morbid – what is “the new catagory” you are gonna put this in? LOL
Morbid
10:48 am on November 16th, 2007
I thought everyone saw it. Beastiality was never a Cat on this site until he came along.
farmergurl62
10:49 am on November 16th, 2007
HMMMMMM ! This remind me of a poem
old mother hubbard went to the cubbard to get her poor dog a bone when she got there the cubbard was bare so rover rolled and gave her a bone of his own !!!
man i bet hes a stump jumper too moooooooooooooooooooooo lmfo this one is just to funny i bet he is dieing of embarassement right now
sweet_misery
9:06 am on November 17th, 2007
Wow. That’s all I got to say.
dammitall
9:10 pm on November 17th, 2007
A basset. Good lord, those soulful eyes, eh? He’d have been better off with a canteloupe.
ZombieBabe
12:09 am on November 18th, 2007
Do we know the sex of the dawg? Any male basset hound I’ve ever seen had balls that dragged the fucking floor. Maybe that enticed him?!
I mean, famous chicks dig Cisco Adler, and his balls hang down to his knees. It’s plausible. *shrugs*
dammitall
12:13 am on November 18th, 2007
Cisco Adler? *Goes off to Google*
MOMfromMO
4:10 pm on November 19th, 2007
OMG! I will never look at my bobble-headed dog the same again!
Nyrak
9:07 pm on November 19th, 2007
It suprises me that a man would put his dick in a dogs mouth. He was THAT desperate? What a fucking douche bag.
thepooh5
3:38 pm on November 20th, 2007
Only thing I can say, since I have finally stopped laughing – Thank the Lord, it wasn’t a child. Mostly a victemless crime as Morbid posted.
aspartame
3:48 pm on November 20th, 2007
im still not over
“I would rather have sex with a drawer full of forks.”
that is my new saying!
but really I am torn between this story and the other one about the oral sex gene in fish!
thepooh5
3:59 pm on November 20th, 2007
What story about the oral sex gene in fish? Haven’t read that one yet – is it posted here? If not where is the link – I need another laugh. My husband has also picked up “the drawer full of forks” saying.
aspartame
4:28 pm on November 20th, 2007
It was posted in the forum. but here is the link
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn12922-oral-sex-gene-helps-male-fish-fake-it.html
its funny s*it!
thepooh5
1:23 pm on November 21st, 2007
Thanks “aspartame” – true it was funny – BUT Castanon still has me LMAO! All I can say is “DAMN”. LOL, again.

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